


Broken Hearts on Parade

by Icarus_fallen



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-03-17 00:46:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 33,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3508865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icarus_fallen/pseuds/Icarus_fallen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of the King's case, in which, Liz finally realized just how broken Red is, she hatches a scheme to do something nice for him.  However, we all know the best laid schemes of mice and men, often go awry.   Despite Liz's best intentions her scheme for Red ends up a mess and people get hurt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for any serious grammar or other errors. Wrote this on my kindle on a flight back to the States.

            It had been over a month since Red chastised Liz for putting her life in danger to save his life.  Those words told her exactly what Red thought of himself, he was expendable. At first it had been a revelation, Red believed her life as more important than his own. It was a confirmation she needed to hear to believe.  The old cliché that actions speak louder than words was true; his actions the night of the King’s case had confirmed how much he actually cared about her. When she heard him speak her name, right before was to die, she knew then he cared. It was not until she realized she could not imagine living in a world without Raymond “Red” Reddington, that she too cared deeply about him.  It was the racing of her heart, and the realization that she cared deeply about him too that sent her back to save him. 

            Since that night, she had tried to rebuild the bridge between them. Red only pushed her away, and the more she chased after him to try to fix things the harder he pushed. Today she was at his doorstep, the team had been working on a blacklister Red hastily told Liz about at the Post-office before he departed claiming business.   Liz knocked on the door holding the bag of fresh scones from a bakery she knew Red loved. 

            “Agent Keen.”  Dembe said as a greeting not moving from the door he just answered. 

            “Please call me Liz.”  She said, “I ally need to speak to Red is he available?”  She took note of how Dembe refuse to move from the doorway. He was not going to allow her in the house.  It was strange, as he almost always allowed her to at least walk into the foyer.

            “Raymond is currently in a business meeting.”  Dembe stated his face in a deep frown.  Liz thought it was as if he was upset with Red, as she noticed his frown deepend when he said his friend and bosses name.  However, Dembe was even harder to read than Red, so she did not put much faith in her assessment.

            “It is really important.”  Liz said, “I can wait.”

            “Liz I think it would be best if you came back later.” Dembe said trying to warn her away, but  she did not seem to take the hint.  He decided to use her name, and a gentle voice to try to convey that what lay inside would likely upset her.

            “What time should…”  The question dying on her lips when she heard a familiar voice in the background. Looking over Dembe’s shoulder she saw Madeline Pratt walking down the stairs dressed in one of Red’s shirts and what Liz assumed were his boxers.  Anger made her cheeks flush when she saw the woman that had almost cost Red his life.

            Dembe was not sending her away to protect his boss, but to protect her. It was anger she had seen in his face, not aimed at her, but likely at his friend. 

            “Dembe, who is at the door?”  Red asked from the top of the stairs, with nothing on. 

            “Agent Keen.”  Dembe said trying to keep his calm intact.

            Red called down the stairs, “Lizze as you can see I am currently occupied with other pressing matters.”  

            To everyone in that situation, it was clear that this had been part of his plan. Red had expected Liz to come by with questions, and he purposely wanted her to see that he was currently obtaining more carnal knowledge of the woman who just a month before betrayed Red and put him in a situation that almost ended with his life.

            “That is unless you want to join us Lizze.”  Red called from upstairs, his hands over his privates, “I’m sure there is more than enough to go around.”

            “No thanks.  Unlike you I have standards.  Call me when your company leaves.”  Liz said handing Dembe the bag of scones, she would not let Red get to her.  Most of all, she was not going to cry in front of them. They were not tears of sorrow, but of anger pure anger.  It was her weakness, this much anger caused her to cry and she hated it because it made her feel like a weak woman, and that caused her to cry more. 

            It hurt yes, but not because she wanted to be the woman in his bed. At least she did not think she wanted to be.  It hurt because she knew he had done to push at her.  Ever since she had called him out on being damaged, on never having anyone do anything nice for him, for him purposely closing himself away so as to not be vulnerable, he had acted out to make her leave before she saw the entire picture. She knew how close she was, and despite the hurt she felt, she was not going to raise to his bait.

            It was later that evening when Dembe had showed up outside of her hotel. He spoke to her, more than he had in the past.  “Raymond would like to speak with you now.”

            Liz was still angry and she was not sure he could or wanted to speak to Red right now.  “Tell him I’m busy.”

            “Agent Keen, he wants to answer your questions about the blacklister.”

            “We caught him no thanks to Red.”  Liz said having felt some pride that the team managed to track down the banker Red had given them barely information on that morning.  They could still function without Red feeding them crumbs. It also happened that she came across the answer she had been searching for since the night in the back of the SUV where she saw just how broken Raymond “Red” Reddington was. She had already spoken with Assistant Director Cooper about taking the next few days off to track down the leads.  For all that asked, she was going on a mini-vacation to catch up with an old friend from college and give a talk to her friends undergraduate criminal justice class.

            “I am sorry for Raymonds actions today.”  Dembe said hoping someone apologizing would sooth the agents anger. Dembe actually liked Elizabeth Keen. He saw a strong independent woman who was kind.  While he rarely spoke to her, he considered her to be one of the good people in the world, one of the people he would be willing to protect, even if Raymond had never asked him to do so.

            “You have no reason to be sorry for him.”  Liz said feeling sorry for Dembe having to put up with Red all of the time. “Is she gone?”

            “Yes.” Dembe said, “She left shortly after you left earlier.” 

            That only confirmed to both parties that Red had done that stunt on purpose.

            “If you have no questions, than I will let him know your team was successful without him.”  Dembe stated.

            Liz sighed knowing that she needed to see Red.  If she wanted to tell him about what she had found out, she needed to speak with him.  If he wanted to act on the information, she wanted to be there, and it meant they would need to leave town soon.  “Wait Dembe. I do need to speak to him, just not about the case.”

            “Than please follow me.”

            “Give me a minute.  I need to pack a bag.”

            Dembe was confused as to why Elizabeth would need to pack a bag.

            “I have information for him.  We will likely need to travel.”  She stated knowing Dembe was confused, “I already cleared time off for a mini-vacation from the office.” Liz knew she was talking too much, but she was trying to keep her brain from talking her out of presenting what she found to Red.  She was hurt by his actions, and she wanted to get back at him for that hurt.  Instead of giving into that base emotion, she decided to be the bigger person.  If anything she owed it to Aram and Red’s DMV guy for all of their work in helping her track down the evidence.

            Twenty minutes later Dembe showed Lizze into the latest safehouse, they had moved after Pratt left for everyone’s safety. 

            Walking into the living room, she saw Red sitting in front of a fire place watching the flames dance.  He looked at her as she walked in and put on his smile, that never quite reached his eyes anymore, “Lizze.  You think a group of trained agents could find one banker me giving you a trail of breadcrumbs to follow to him.  I am seriously starting to doubt the FBI’s effectiveness.”

            “We managed to track down the banker without your help.”  Liz said smiling in triumph.  They had won that round.

            “Madeline loved the scones you brought.”  He said studying her.

            Liz could not believe how petty he was being, it was so against who he was. It was as if they were back at day one, when she was sure he purposely pushed all her buttons just to see what made her tick.  Now he was doing it to get away from her.  He was like a child, screaming for attention, but pushing the person away the minute they gave him what he wanted. 

            “I brought you something else.”  She said pulling the bunny out of her purse.

            Red recognized the bunny from the singes on its back. It had been the very bunny he remembered a younger version of Liz clinging to as he pulled her out of the fire.

            “Cute, but I’m a bit old for stuff animals.”  Red answered his fake smile still on his face, a bit more convincing. Anyone who had not spent months studying him would think he truly was happy. 

            “It’s what is inside it that you want.”  Liz said, “I believe it is the fulcrum.”

            “No longer afraid I’ll just disappear from your life no longer not having a need for you?”

            “I am confident you won’t, but if you do I will miss you dearly.” She said wanting to add that no matter how hard he pushed she was not going to walk away from him, that she still cared and he still had to deal with the fact she cared about him. When he said nothing, she figured she made the right decisions not to add the last part. 

            Red looked at the device Liz had pulled out of the bunny, “This is not the fulcrum.”

            “It’s not?”  She said surprised.

            “No. But it will likely lead you to it.” Red stated, “I recommend keeping it hidden and not listening to it.”

            “You can keep it.”

            “I don’t want it.”  Red said handing it back to her.

            “Are you sure?”  She was truly surprised she knew how much the fulcrum meant to him.  It meant his very survival, his only weapon against the cabal he had spoken of. 

            “100%. Lizze.”  Red stood from his chair, “If that is it, I am a bit tired and would like to sleep.  Busy day.” He was grinning at her, but it did not quite reach his eyes.  His eyes were dead, no life in them. 

            “Can you get your jet ready?”  She asked shifting on her feet.  She had not only come here to give him what she thought was the fulcrum.

            “Whatever for Lizze?”  He smiled at her, it did not quiet reach his eyes, none of his smiles had quiet reached his eyes in awhile, “Are you finally willing to go on the vacation I told you that you needed? Decided not to use those frequent flyer miles to fly coach.  I’d be happy to loan you the jet.”

            “Just answer the question Red.”

            “Answer mine first.”  Red said his fake smile on his face again.

            “It’s really important to me Red. I would not ask if…” She was playing him and he seemed to be buying it, she shifted again as if uncomfortable with what she was going to say next, “I need your help Red.”  She was not lying, she wanted to do something nice for Red, to show him people could be nice, and he was deserving of kindness.  However, she was exaggerating how important it was to her, but it was for the greater good.  Red would never tell her no, if he thought she really needed help.

            “Yes I can get the jet ready.”  Red said, “Where should I tell them you are flying to?”

            “We are flying to Missouri, St. Louis to be exact.”

            “We are flying?”  Red said questioning her statement.

            “Yes I need your help.  Please Red.” Liz said, “You can rest on the jet.”

            “Why are we flying to that dreadful state?” Red asked having had a strong distaste for the state of Missouri, but he could never tell Lizze no if it was important to her.  Her actions tonight were surprising because she did not seem to show him any anger for him having hooked up with Pratt.  Whatever was in Missouri, must be important if she was willing to put the anger he had seen earlier aside. Whatever, was so important, he just hoped it was not regarding the man that called himself Tom Keen.

            “Important business.” Liz said.

            “I bring you the cases, not the other way around.”  Red said.

            “Red just do it for me please.”  She said smiling at him. 

            Red had no other pressing matters, and even though he hated Missouri, he was willing to go along with her.  “Fine. But can I at least know why it’s so important we go to Missouri?”

            “I need to meet an important contact there.  The bureau cannot know about it.”

            “This is not about the fulcrum?”  Red asked already knowing St. Louis, Missouri had nothing to do with the fulcrum, but he had to ask because he could stop the trip before it started. The idea of spending hours on a jet with Liz was uncomfortable.  The tables had reversed in their relationship the night after the King’s incident. She had become the patient persistent one, while he did his best to push her away. 

            “Nope. I thought what I just try to give you was the fulcrum.”  Liz answered honestly.

            “It’s not.”  Red said, following up with a question, “How long should I plan to be gone?” 

            “Not more than a week.”  Liz realized that Red had work outside of the blacklist, “Will that work for you?”  
            “Yes. My associates can handle anything that requires in person meetings.”

            “Good. Thank you Red. This means a lot to me.” Liz said surprised at how easy it was to convince Red to go with her.  It also surprised her that she was able to keep her anger at bay to achieve this good deed.

            “What about your work Lizze?”  Red asked.

            “I told you it has to do with work.”  Liz answered knowing Red was trying to get her off topic. 

            Red excused himself, realizing he was not going to get Liz to tell him what she had in store for them.  He made a call to get his jet ready, and than started to pack some clothes. His intrigue was enough to motivate him to go.  As much as he dreaded the time on the plan with Lizze, he also wanted to spend time with her. He missed her and it was his own stubborn need to not be vulnerable to not be read like an open book that kept him missing her.  They had only worked together over the past month.  Not for her lack of trying, he had to distance himself from her, she was getting to close.  He was sure Madeline would have achieved making Lizze angry with him again.  For her to go back to their relationship being a necessity for business only.  He sensed something was off, but he could not figure out what was off about Lizze. She was acting almost as if she had not seen the show he put on for her earlier that day.  He had taken a lot of crap from Dembe, having finally pushed his friend to a point that Dembe argued with Red over his actions.

            It was these thoughts that Liz pulled him from when she called to him from downstairs, “How long until it will be ready?”

            “By time we get to the airport.  Do you need to go pack?”  He asked walking out of his room with a carry on.

            “Already packed and the car.” Liz said.

            Dembe came out of his room with a carryon packed for himself. He grabbed Red’s from him, giving his friend a glare, as Dembe was still upset with Red over his previous actions.

            “Looks like we are all ready for the little adventure Lizze is taking us on.” Red said grabbing is coat and hat from the coat rack at the door.

            “Good. Lets get going.”  She said excited. She could not wait until Red saw what she found. 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going to be it for at a least. Traveling again.

           Red had booked them at a hotel that overlooked the Mississippi River. It was in downtown St. Louis and was actually a quite pleasant part of St. Louis City.  The arch was just a short walk from the hotel, and there was a casino on the main floor.

            Dembe had Liz had talked quietly during the plan ride to St. Louis. Red had occasionally entered the conversation, but mostly he read. It was only small talk, mostly just about books Dembe and Liz both had read. 

            Red seemed to only interject himself once there was a comfortable conversation between Dembe and Liz, as if he was jealous of how easy Dembe found it to talk to Liz. 

            Now in the suite of the hotel Liz was enjoying the view while Red was getting ready for dinner.  They were going to a nice restaurant known as the Mosaic.  She had eaten there once before when she had visited the University of Missouri St. Louis to guest lecture in one of her college friends criminology classes.

            “This really is a dreadful state.”  Red said.

            “Why do you hate it so much?”  Liz asked happy that Red seemed to be willing to engage in conversation.

            “Bad experience here once.”  Red said not telling the story as he often had in the past. 

            Liz frowned, “Well hopefully whoever caused the bad experience is gone.”

            “Doubtful. All the reason to make sure we stay downtown and do not go near Dog Town or the surrounding areas.”

            “Dog Town?”  Liz asked confused by the name.

            “One of the local neighborhoods.”

            “Interesting name.”

            “Ready to go?”  Dembe asked walking out of his room. 

            “Yes. Can we make a stop along the way? I moved the reservations back an hour to ensure we would make it on time.”  Liz stated.

            “Where?” Red asked knowing he must be careful where he went, he was sure there were a few people left in town that would be happy to kill him for having disrupted one of the largest drug pipelines between Mexico and Chicago.  He could not help he could move the drugs cheaper and faster.  It had almost cost dearly.  The gentleman he had taken the route from gave Red a proper beating before Dembe had found him and shot the man, Paul, unfortunately not killing him.

            “Lafayette Square?”  Liz gave the location of another neighborhood in St. Louis.  This neighborhood was one of the areas that had been gentrified, it boarder one of the housing projects in St. Louis city, but had enough police supervision and strongly bonded neighborhood residents that the crime rates were almost non-existent.  The house were old brick houses that were all rehabbed to look like the original multi-story houses. 

            “Whatever for?”

            “I just want to see where my contact lives before I meet with her.” Liz said.

            “I guess we have the time since you moved the reservation.”  Red said looking at his watch, “Have you seen the neighborhood before Lizze?”

            “Not in person.”  She said.

            “Some of the houses are gorgeous.  The park has a beautiful pond.”  Red said having stayed in one of the houses in the late 1990’s when the entire sordid affair went down.

            “Let’s get going than.”  Liz said taking Dembe’s arm, she did it on purpose and she knew it surprised Dembe when she did. Yes she was trying to make Red jealous because he seemed to engage in conversation with her when he got jealous of her attention to others. 

            Red told her stories of the history of the area as Dembe drove them in their rented black BMW.  Liz had no idea where one rented a BMW, but here she was relaxing in the backseat with Red listening to him tell her about the story of the statue that sat in the park of the neighborhood they were on their way too. 

            “There is a little island that appears when the Mississippi dries up during the summer months.  That is where they had their dual.”  Red continued with his story, a bit more animated than he had been the past month.

            Once they got to the neighborhood Liz gave Dembe the address to the house, and he parked down the street turning the car off. 

            “We cannot sit here for long.”  Red said, “The police and the neighbors will notice us and come talk. The troubles of a socially cohesive neighborhood.” 

            Liz hoped that the person would appear soon.  She had it on good authority that the woman they were waiting for should be getting off work about twenty minutes ago.  With the traffic she should be pulling up in the next few minutes.

            “Who is this associate?”  Red asked watching Liz as she watched the house for signs of life.

            Liz did not respond, she was not going to ruin the surprise just yet. As the time crept by, she started to get nervous.  What if there was a reason for Red not having contacted this person before?  Originally, she thought it was simply Red could not find her, but now she was not so sure.  How would she react to seeing Red?  How would Red react to seeing her?  Was this the right thing? Lizze decided yes it was, she would want the chance if she could have it. 

            “We need to leave soon.”  Dembe said noticing the cop car having circled around.  It would come back and would come speak to them.  It was awkward for three people to be sitting in a car on the road in this part of the neighborhood. 

            As if on cue, another cop car pulled up behind them. 

            Liz was happy she had brought her credentials with her.  She climbed out of the car, to make sure the cops did not see Red just incase they would recognize them.

            “Good evening officers.” Liz greeted the two police officers walking towards her.

            “Good evening Ma’am.   What brings you to this part of town?”  One of the officers asked sizing up Liz.  She did not look like a drug addict, but suspicious enough to be in a car with two men.

            “I’m going to reach into my purse and pull out my credentials. I’m with the FBI.” Liz said slowly reaching into her purse and pulling out her credentials.  She handed it to the officer, “I’m here on official FBI business.”

            “We were not informed of any FBI operations occurring.”  The officer said studying her credentials.

            “We are waiting on an asset to come home.”

            “Any reason you can share?”  The officer who seemed to be in charge asked.

            “Just need to talk to her.  The other two in the car are my partners.”   Liz answered the officers question before he could ask, “We were hoping not to be too noticeable.”

            “Since when does the FBI drive around in BMW’s?”  The officer in charge asked.

            “It’s one of the agent’s personal car.  We drove down from Chicago.”  Liz lied, “Much more comfortable than the cars they have us drive in.”

            “What is so important you drove down from Chicago?”

            “The woman we are waiting to speak to has had contact with one of our top ten wanted criminals.  She may have treated him without knowing.”

            “You are talking about Dr. Harper Jackson?”  The officer said pointing at the house Liz had been watching.

            “Yes. I doubt she even knew who she was treating.  But we wanted to follow up.  We have been following this gentlemen for the past year.” 

            “I would say so.  She is one of the good people.” The officer stated, “She has bandaged up a couple of the local kids who got hurt skating boarding, or doing whatever kids do.  She is a gem for this neighborhood.”

            “Glad to hear it.  We just need to speak with her.”

            “Ok. Well I will let the others know and we will leave you alone than.”  The officer said handing Liz back her credentials.  “If there is anything we can do to help let us know.”

            “I will officer…I’m sorry I did not get your name.”

            “Daniels.”

            “Officer Daniels.  Thank you for being so understanding.”

            “Inter agency cooperation’s right.”

            “Yeah. Sorry for not contacting you ahead of time.  We did not expect to spend much time outside.”

            “No problem. There is Dr. Harper now.”

            Liz turned to see a car pulling into the driveway.  She looked back towards the BMW, but with the tinted windows she could not tell if Red was looking at the person who pulled in the driveway.

            Liz walked over to the woman as she got out of her car.  “Dr. Lambert?”

            “Yes.” The woman with short blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes looked at Liz confused. 

            “I’m Agent Elizabeth Keen with the FBI.  I was hoping I might be able to take a few minutes of your time to speak with you.”

            The woman suddenly looked angry, she clenched her jaw just like Red does when he gets angry.  She even seemed to tilt her head in the same way.

            “Come inside please.” Dr. Harper said with fake politeness. 

            Liz followed the woman inside.  She wanted to introduce the idea and give the woman a choice before she spoke with Red. By now, Red had to know who the woman was, and Liz looked behind her to make sure the car was still there.

            Once inside the woman shut the door and did no bother to offer Liz anything to drink or offer Liz a place to sit.  “I told that other agent years ago I have no idea where my father is, what he is doing. In fact I have not seen my father in over two-decades.  I wish you people would just leave me alone.”

            “I’m sorry.  The other agent?” Liz asked confused as to who may have stopped by to speak with her.  This woman was supposedly well hidden from the world.

            “I cannot remember.”  She said, “Maybe Dan, or Don something with a D.” 

            “Agent Donald Ressler?”

            “Yes I believe so.  He came to me about 3 years ago when I was doing was a resident at Barnes-Jewish Hospital.”

            “He did.  I’m sorry he did not make a record of that.”

            “Probably because you people are supposed to leave me alone.” The woman said, “Like I said I have not heard from my father in over two decades.  If I had, I would have told you gladly.”

            “That is actually is not why I am here.”  Liz said not sure if this had been a good idea after all.

            “Than why are you here?”

            “It has to do with your father.”  Liz said, “But I already know where he is.”

            “Is the bastard finally dead?”  Harper asked her eyes lit up with anger, looking extremely similar to Red’s. The similarities were uncanny, and told Liz just how strong genetics played a role in shaping the people we are.

            “No.” Liz was not sure how to proceed.

            “Too bad.”  Harper said meaning what she said.

            “Um… Well…”  Liz took a breath and looked at the woman, “He is actually not to far from here right now.”

            “Why aren’t you out arresting him?  Isn’t he in your top ten of wanted criminals?”

            “He’s number four currently.”

            “So why are you here talking to me?  I already told you I haven’t seen him.”

            Standing in the foyer of the house Liz was not sure how to proceed, so she decided to just say it, “What I am about ready to tell you is classified information. I would lose my job for telling you this, and possibly be imprisoned.”

            “Ok.” Harper said, intrigued by the statement. Curiosity killed the cat, but she was not a cat.

            “Your father has been working with the FBI.”  Liz stated, “With me actually.”

            “All these years?”  Harper said, but then followed up shortly after, “Of course not.”

            “Just this past year or so.”  Liz said, “He turned himself in.  And has been helping the FBI bring down some really bad people.”

            “And what does this have to do with me?”  Harper asked no longer as annoyed as she originally was. Mostly she was tired after a 24 hour shift with multiple trauma surgeries due to the increase in gang wars in North City St. Louis. 

            “He did not know I was coming here.  He is outside.  I thought maybe you would want to meet him.”  Liz said quickly, “It is what I would have wanted.”

            “That man abandoned my mom and I on Christmas.  We found out he was a traitor.  He sold secrets to other nations that got people killed. Why in the world would I want to meet him?”

            “My own father was not a great man, and I still wish I could see him one more time.  I just thought.”

            “Did he put you up to this?  Is this part of his deal?”  Harper was angry again, “My mother told me what happened to her, and how he had asked about me. I hoped I had hidden enough that he would never find me.”

            “No he did not put me up to this.  He did not even know we were coming here.  I actually lied to him to get him to come.”  Liz said.  “I just thought.”

            “You thought wrong.”  Harper said. “If that is all, I really want to get some rest. “

            “Ok. Sorry.”  Liz stopped before she walked out the door.  She pulled one of her business cards out of her pocket, and a pen from her purse. Writing her cellphone number on the back, “If you change your mind I can be reached here.  Whenever.  Your father is not a complete monster.”

            “He’s not a good guy either.”  Harper said taking the card from Liz, with the purpose of throwing it away the minute the agent was gone. 

            Liz left, hearing Harper close and lock the door behind her. As she walked back to the car, she steeled herself.  She was not sure what Red she would find when she got to the car.  Nor was she sure how she was gong to tell him his own daughter wanted nothing to do with him.  She sure in the hell would not tell him the things his daughter had said about him. Or that Ressler had known where the woman was this entire time. 

            She climbed in the backseat, and was not happy to see another pissed off Reddington.

            Red did not even attempt to hide his anger, or lower his voice, “Dembe take us back to the hotel we are leaving.”

            “Red…”

            “No.” Red said seething with anger, his fist were clenched at his side, his jaw clenched, and his face twitched with the raw emotion. “You had no right to meddle.”

            “I was not meddling.”  Liz said feeling like a child being chastised.  “I was trying to help Red.”

            “No you were meddling.  Hoping to get another piece to your precious puzzle.”  Red said, “Hoping to turn over one more rock.”

            “Is that a bad thing?  For someone to know you?”  Liz asked.

            “Liz not now.”  Red said as a warning. He was not sure if he could keep the anger inside.  He was upset with Liz and himself for being so stupid not to see through it. No he had not known where his daughter Jennifer had been, despite years of searching.  It did not bother him that Liz seemed to be able to find her, actually it did bother him.  What hurt though, if he was honest, was he knew that the one thing from his past he clutched onto still wanted nothing to do with him.  Liz did not need to tell him the conversations he had with Jennifer. The fact that Jennifer did not come out to the car, or Liz try to get Red to go inside told Red all he needed to know.  His own daughter hated him, and she had every right to hate him.  More than enough reasons.  No he had not been a bastard like his father, beating her and her mother, but in their eyes he abandoned them all those years ago in pursuit of riches. He had betrayed them, his nation, and left them hanging.  He doubted his ex wife ever explained to his darling daughter that Red had thought they were dead for years, and when he found out they were not dead, he had searched for them. He had burned down multiple bridges and would have killed everyone on earth just to find them. Nothing had worked.

            “I’m sorry Red.”  Liz said starting to reach out to touch him, but he recoiled away from her.  Afraid of what he might do if she touched him. He did not want to be his father.

            The rest of the ride was in silence, no one spoke, and the silence hung uncomfortably in the car. 

            Once they got back to the hotel, Red went to his room.  He was trying to arrange to fly out tonight, but his pilot informed him that the jet needed maintenance and it would be late tomorrow before it would be ready to fly. 

            Dembe and Liz heard Red cussing the poor pilot out over the phone. Than heard him asking to find another plane, it did not matter.  Red wanted out of this godforsaken state of Misery. 

            “Elizabeth.” Dembe said, “You should have told him and let him chose.”

            “Hindsight is fifty fifty Dembe.”  Liz said, “I really thought he would have been happy to see her.”

            “And what about her?”  Dembe said.

            “I thought she’d at least let me explain why he had left, but she didn’t.” Liz answered.  “I was trying to do something nice for him Dembe.”

            Dembe just shook his head. There was nothing else to say, the best intentions did not always mean the best results. 

            “I’m going to go down and get something to eat.”  Liz said, but she had ever intention of drinking.

            “Would you like company?”  Dembe asked looking at Raymonds closed door and hearing the man cussing the pilot steal.

            “Shouldn’t you stay here with him?”  Liz asked.

            “He did tell me to always make sure you were safe.”  Dembe said.  He knew Liz needed his company more than Raymond right now.  Raymond would need a few hours to calm down before he was ready to speak to anyone. 

            “Let’s go.”  Liz said taking one more look at the door, they both heard a phone smash against the door.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments. Please let me know what you think. I am still developing bits and getting the feel for the characters.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was supposed to be two chapters, but I made it into one (so it's really long). Poor person next to me on the flights got to hear the same loop of songs over and over (Bleeding Out by Imagine Dragons, Emotionless and Broken Hearts Parade by Good Charlotte). Thanks for reading and the reviews as always very much appreciated, whether you got something good or bad to say. It helps.

            It was twenty minutes later that Red emerged from his room ready to tell Lizze just how much she had screwed up, and he found the suite to be empty. Looking at the pieces of his phone he sighed. It was rare that he allowed himself to lose his temper.  In fact, the last time he had done so was a very long time ago.  It was a dark place he avoided at all cost because it was in the dark place inside him he saw his father in himself, and he was truly afraid of what he would do once the darkness took over.  That was one of the many reasons he always had to be in control. If he lost control of anything, he would lose out to the all consuming anger that brought out his true monster. Liz may think what she has seen makes him a monster, but she has not seen the true demon that lives inside of Raymond Reddington.  She got a glimpse when he dispatched the Stewmaker, but that was just a glimpse of what he was capable of when he lost control.

            It felt as if the suite was a cage, a prison cell, he had to escape.   He needed to walk, to do something other than sit in this room and be haunted by the ghost of his past. The fresh air would do his head a world of good, and the change in location would occupy his mind. The what if’s that he had squashed away years ago were threatening to resurface.  In the living room area of the suite, he grabbed Liz’s cell phone she had left sitting on the table and quickly wrote a note that he was out walking. The note was for Dembe, so his body guard would not worry.  Red knew it was only a matter of time before his presences in St. Louis would be noted by the wrong people, but right now he was sure he was still safe enough to venture out on his own. 

            Red spent an hour walking around the park in which the famous arch rested. He had blended easily into the crowd of tourist.  Why people thought that monstrosity was worth traveling to see he could never understand. Walking down towards the Mississippi river the smell of rotten fish and river filed his nostrils. It was not the most pleasant of smells, but after a few minutes it would be background and nothing more. There was a brick wall that overlooked a paved road that often was flooded over with river water. Taking a sea on the wall, he ignored the run down river boat casino that even from where he sat he could smell the desperation.  Instead he choose to watch the barges go by on the river.  Many of authors had written about this vary river, having traveled up and down it, there were many sites to see and interesting people to meet. But that was another life, and another time. 

            The water had always been calming to him.  It was why he had joined the navy, not just to piss his father off, but because he had loved the water.  The boats rocking on the river, the sound of water rushing by, the smell even was comforting. Even at the worse of times, sitting in front of a large body of water reminded him how small his existence was in the larger scheme of things.  He spent many of nights sitting on a cold beach, avoiding his home where his father would likely be drunk.  It was those nights that Red had felt the safest.  Watching the water slop over the wall supposed to prevent it from overrunning its banks, reminded Red of the waves he would watch roll to shore on the ocean.

            He smiled a sad smile when the lyrics from an Otis Redding song popped into his head. The came to mind whenever he found himself in the current emotional state watching a body of water.

_Cause I have nothing to live for_  
_And look like nothing going to come my way_  
_So I’m just going to sit on the dock of the bay_  
_Watching the tide roll away  
_ _Sitting on the dock of the bay wasting time_

            The song brought back mixed memories.  When he was younger, he and Sam had sat on a pier.  They were drunk and they had sung the song at the top of their lungs.  Neither of them really caring what the song actually meant.  It just happened to be playing at the bar they had left stumbling towards the pier. It was a simpler time. Long before Red had become a naval intelligence officer, long before he had found out about the cabal, when the possibilities of the future were endless.  It had been his bachelor party.  He was going to get married the next morning, and they had a baby girl on the way.  A few short years later, those endless possibilities had dried up, and Red found himself staring at what he had thought was his wife and daughters blood. Making a vow to avenge them and bring down the men who had killed his family to punish him. Now two decades and than some later, he was no closer to getting that revenge, and his family was alive and well, but wanted nothing to do with him. 

            Despite the sun going down and the night air becoming cold, Red sat on that wall watching ships go by.  He noticed nothing but the ships float down river.   Consumed in his own thoughts, the very thoughts he had hoped to escape by leaving the suite, he never noticed the person and sit next to him.  It was not until he heard Dembe speak that Red realized someone had joined him.

            “We should go back Raymond.”  Dembe said, “ There has been a development.”

            “What is that?”

            “Paul knows you are in town.  One of our old contacts phoned me while I was having dinner with Elizabeth. Paul has put a hit out on you.”

            “What is new?”

            “It was issued city wide to anyone who knows how to look for such things.” Dembe said.  “It is not safe for you my friend.”

            “A few more minutes Dembe.”

            “Ok.” Dembe said looking around to make sure no one was around.  He noticed his friend shivering, but did nothing about it.  He knew when Red was in this state, it was better to leave him be. To let him work out whatever he was pondering on.

            “How did you find me?”  Red asked back from his memories.

            “Elizabeth tracked her phone.”  Dembe sat in a comfortable silence next to Red.  He let the silence wash over them before he spoke again a few minutes later, “She meant well Raymond.”

            “I know.”  Red answered sounding exhausted.

            “She is really upset things did not work out.”  Dembe said, “She told me over dinner.”  He added when Red looked at him.  “She had hoped it would help you.  She has noticed the change in you.”

            “What change?”

            “You are distant Red.  Even from me you have distanced yourself.  You send me away more often, and you have become more reckless recently.” Dembe said, “At first I thought it was because I failed you, but than I saw you were doing it to Elizabeth as well.”

            “Dembe you did not fail me my friend.”

            Dembe did not argue, he knew in his heart he had failed, but he also knew Raymond never saw it that way. 

            “We should get back.”  Red said not moving to stand up.  The cold dampness had settled in his bones and he knew standing would hurt.  He was getting old, and today he especially felt extremely old.

            Dembe got up and waited for Red.  As Red got up Dembe slowly walked away giving his friend the privacy he needed.

            “Did you talk to Lizze about Jennifer?”

            “Elizabeth spoke about her a bit.”  Dembe said, he never really asked many questions, but was always happy to listen.

            “Is Jennifer happy?”

            “I do not know.”  Dembe said, “She’s a medical doctor.  Goes by the name of Harper now. She is a trauma surgeon.” 

            “Really.” Red said smiling proud of her, she achieved that despite him. 

            “She does not have a family.”  Dembe said, “But she is still young.”

            Red nodded, he was proud of what Jennifer had achieved despite him and all of the problems he had brought onto his family.  “How long has she lived here?”

            “I do not know.  I know she did her residency here, and was asked to stay after she passed her boards.” Dembe said happy to fill in what he knew from Elizabeth telling him. 

            “I need to stop and get something.”  Red said outside a small convenience store that sat just outside of a metro (train) stop.  “Go ahead and get back to Lizze.  I think I can make it the last block.” 

            “Are you sure?”  Dembe said.

            “Yes. If anyone was watching they would have seen me with her.”  Red said once again telling Dembe that Liz’s life was more important this his own.

            Red walked into the convenience stand, really was what it was, could not really be considered a store.  He asked the clerk, “Do you have any flowers?”

            “In the doghouse with the misses?”  The clerk asked.

            “Yes.” Red replied.

            “There is a shop right around the corner.”

            “Thanks.” Red said walking out of the stand. In Red’s defense he was too preoccupied with having seen his daughter after over two decades, and also had the ghost of the his past and the could have been haunting him.  These preoccupations made it so he never noticed that the clerk of the convenience stand quickly dialed someone as soon as Red left the stand.

            It took more money than the flowers were wroth to convince the florist to take one last customer past closing time.  Red paid even more to make sure he got beautiful flowers, arranged perfectly. His way of apologizing to Lizze for yelling at her for trying to do something nice.  As he walked out of the store, he saw the two men walking his way. They were dressed in blue, indicating a specific gang affiliation. Red tensed as they walked by him, but appeared to take no notice of him.  They were not speaking to each other, but their lack of interest in him made him feel a bit more confident they had no idea who he was. 

            Five minutes later, after a few turns to ensure no one was following him, Red walked into the hotel and quickly made his way to the elevators that would lead him up to the suite he was sharing with Dembe and Lizze. He looked at the flowers, and hoped they would do the trick.  He knew he had been a dick recently.  She made him weak and weakness would ruin him.  In addition, he was not good enough for her, and her caring about him would only end in her getting hurt, if history was not evidence enough.  Raymond Reddington actions only hurt those he cared most about, it was better that he lived a solitary life, so he could no longer cause anyone any pain.

            For any who cared, they would see through his rationalization and realize he was just as worried about how others could hurt him.  The truth was few people had been good to Red throughout his life.  Even fewer had actually cared about the man, or were able to see past the façade he utilized to protect himself from further pain.  Those that had seen past his mask, were those who he kept close, but always at enough distance so that everyone involved was safe from being hurt.  Dembe was the only one who truly got to see the weakness, the sorrow, and the shell of a man that was Raymond Reddington. It was not by choice that Dembe got to see this, but by Dembe’s stubborn refusal to leave Reds side.

            With these thoughts he walked into the suite and found Liz sitting on the couch watching the news. 

            “For you.”  Red said handing her the bouquet of flowers .

            “Thank you.”  Liz said taking the flowers from him and realizing it was his way of apologizing. “They are beautiful.”

            Silence filled the room, “I am sorry about not checking with you first.” Liz said, “I just thought you would want to see her.”

            Red did want to see her, but he knew it would only put her in danger. He was also terrified she would not want to see him, and she had not wanted to see him.  That hurt more than any bullet or torture. To see the damage his actions caused, however good they may have been back than, that fateful night when he went off script from his task had ruined not only his life, but everyone who he cared about life as well.  His father was correct about one thing, Red never deserved what he had back than. The old man had said so the day Red got married to Carla, and again the day that Jennifer was born.

            “I am going to go rest.”  Red stated.

            “We brought food back for you incase you were hungry.”  Liz said pointing at the takeout container.  

            “Thanks.” Red took the food to his room closing the door.  He was not hungry, he felt exhausted.  Tonight he knew the demons would not stay away.  If his father’s voice was already playing in his head, having been absent for years now, he knew it was going to be a long sleepless night. 

            He was watching the sky from his window when he felt the phone buzz in his pocket.  Grabbing the phone out of his pocket, he realized he still had Liz’s phone on him. Looking at the number, he saw it was a 312 area code, which meant someone from St. Louis.  He answered the phone, “Agent Keens phone.”

            “Is Agent Keen available?”  An unsure voice on the other end asked. 

            Red knew the voice the second a word came across the earpiece. He felt his heart race and shatter all over again.  He wanted to call her name, but he knew she would likely just hang up on him.  “Yes.  May I tell her who is calling?”  He said wanting to hear the voice one more time.

            “It’s Harper Lambert.  She spoke to me earlier.”  Harper had not recognized the voice on the other end.  If she had, she would have hung up and made plans to move.  She did not want her father in her life, but it did not mean she did not want to learn about him a bit. 

            “One moment please.”  Red said his hand shaking. He took a few calming breaths and than walked out of the room to find Liz on the couch watching the Daily Show.

            “Lizze phone is for you. It is Harper Lambert.”  Red said holding out the phone for Liz to take, hoping she did not notice the slight shake in his hand. 

            Liz was surprised the woman called, but she jumped off the couch and grabbed the phone.  She looked around and found the key for the hotel room and rushed out. 

            “This is Liz.”  She said once outside of the room.  She walked to the end of the hallway and took a seat in a little foyer area by the elevators.

            “Agent Keen.  I’m sorry to call so late.”

            “No it is fine.  I was just watching TV.” Liz said trying to encourage the woman, maybe this was not as hopeless as she had hoped.

            “Was that him?”  Harper asked she noticed the change in the voice after she had spoken the first time, and she thought she remembered the velvety sound of his voice.

            “Yes.” Liz decided not to lie to her.

            “So he is in town?”

            “He was in the car earlier.  Again he did not know we were going to see you.  It was all my plan.” Liz said trying to assure Harper, that Red was not trying to force himself into her life.

            “Can we meet somewhere and talk, just you and me?”  Harper asked. 

            “Sure.” Liz said, “Where and when? We are leaving sometime tomorrow I believe.”  Liz said nervous about meeting with Red’s daughter.  What if she said something wrong or did something wrong and that was the reason the woman would never meet Red.  Liz did not want to be responsible for taking that chance away from him.

            “How about the my house?” 

            “When?”

            “Can you meet in a half hour?”

            “Yes.” Liz said getting up from the couch.

            “Ok. Thanks.”  Harper said unsure of herself now, “I’ll see you than.”

            Liz hung the phone up and rushed back to the hotel room.  Red was sitting on the couch not saying anything to her when she walked in. 

            “Dembe.” Liz called to him knowing it was the only way Red was going to let her leave the hotel tonight.

            “Yes Liz?”  Dembe said emerging from his room.

            “Can you drive me somewhere tonight?”

            Red finally spoke, “You two are meeting.”

            “Yes.” Liz said, “She asked if I could talk to her for a bit.”

            “Did she know it was me on the phone?”

            “She suspected.”

            “Did you confirm it?”

            “Yes.” Liz said noticing how blank Red’s face was.  She knew he was doing it on purpose, he was pulling his mask over his emotions.

            “Than this is it Lizze.”  Red said, “You are putting her in danger.  If anyone knew who she was, what she means to me, they would use her.”

            “I know Red.  That is why I have been careful.”  Liz said, “The trail that led me to her has been erased so no one else could find it.”

            Red smiled sadly at her, “Thank you.”  He thanked her because he knew if Liz and whoever she had worked with could track down Jennifer, than anyone else could as well.  “How did you find her?”

            “Your ex-wife called her quite a few times.  I had some help and they were able to use Carla’s phone records to track her down.”

            “Aram?” Red questioned.

            “Partly yes.”  Liz said not wanting to tell Red she had used one of his people as well. 

            “Did he know who it was you were trying to find?”

            “Yes. But he will not tell anyone about finding her.”  Liz said remembering that Donald had known the entire time where Jennifer Reddington had been, and that she actual was know Harper Lambert.  

            “If she needs anything…”  Red started to say.

            Liz cut him off, “I will let you know and we will find a way to get her what she needs without the agency knowing.”

            “Thank you.”  Red said truly grateful even if he had wished his daughter remained hidden, that lost piece of his past that he could pine for but never actual find.

            “Take my phone.”  Liz said handing Red he phone, “In case you need to contact us.  I saw the pieces of your phone.”

            Red took the phone from Liz’s hand.  “If anything happens to her…”

            “Red I promise to keep her identity safe.”  Liz said, “I would not have brought you here if I did not think we could keep her safe.  We have more business before we leave to hide the fact we where here for her.  A friend of mine lives here, and we will see her for breakfast tomorrow.”

\---------------------

 

            Thirty minutes later Liz was knocking on Harpers door.  Dembe was with her, both of them deciding that he sitting in the car at this hour would draw more attention.  He would find somewhere else to relax while Liz and Harper spoke.

            Harper answered the door, the shock of Dembe standing next to Liz quickly registering on her face.  “Come in.” She stepped aside to let the two visitors in.

            “Harper this is Dembe.”  Liz introduced them hearing soft music coming from the living room. “He is an associate.” Liz purposely did not say who he was an associate to, she expected Harper to not be too happy that Liz brought one of Red’s men with her. 

            “I have a den if you would like to hang out in there or you are welcome to join us.” Harper said wanting to be nice to the man.

            “I can sit in the den.”  Dembe said.

            “Would you like anything to drink?”  Harper asked as she led him to the den.

            “No I am fine.  Thank you.” Dembes voice was pleasant. She knew he was African but she could not quite place the accent.  Harper had spent a few months in Africa working as a doctor without boarders. It had been one of the most rewarding parts of her career. However, the man she had been engaged to at the time insisted she come home to be with him, and she foolishly had listened to him. It was only a few months later that she left him, and moved to the house she calls home now. 

            Harper returned to Liz who was looking at pictures on the fireplace. It felt like she was once again on her psychiatric rotation, the shrinks couldn’t quite help but study each other and other people.

            “Would you like anything to drink Liz?”  Harper said, “Is it ok if I call you Liz.”

            “Of course.”  Liz said, “And yes if you do not mind I would love something to drink.”  Liz could sense how nervous Harper was and Liz was whatever she could to put her host at ease. 

            “I have beer, water, or I opened a bottle of white wine?”

            “Wine will be fine.”  Liz said following Harper into the kitchen.

            She was studying the woman, cataloging the similarities and differences between father and daughter.  The woman appeared to be happy.  The picture on the mantel that included Harper, also had a lot of other people. Liz guess she had a decent size friend group, and that she was still in contact with many of those people. Clearly a difference from her father, who had few friends, and no one close.

            “Just so you know whatever you ask or say here stays between us.” Liz said, “Red will likely ask, and I will tell him nothing.  He’ll get annoyed, but he will understand.”

            “Does the same go for Dembe.”  Harper asked handing Liz a glass of white whine.

            “Yes. If Dembe hears anything he will keep it to himself.”

            “Ok.” Harper said both women moving into the living room and taking a seat.  Liz choose the couch, and allowed Harper the chair.  They sat in silence for a few minutes until Harper asked, “What is he like?”

            “Red?” Liz asked really to fill up time while she thought of a way to describe the enigma that was Red.

            “Yes.” She said, “I have some memories of him, but not many.”

            “I don’t know where to start.”  Liz said honestly, “He is the most stubborn, caring jerk I have ever meant. Most of the time he is infuriating.  At first glance he seems like a smug arrogant jerk.  Loves to tell stories, and he has lived an interesting life having been it seems almost everywhere.”  Liz thought about what else she could say about Red, she knew very little about his personal life, but she had studied him ever since she meant him. “He is very good at hiding himself away from people.  I have worked with him for a year and I know very little about his life outside of the cases he brings me, and the few times he has slipped up and allowed me to see bits of him.”

            Liz paused for a few seconds while she thought of other things she could say about Red, “His loyal to those who matter to him.  There are very few people that matter to him, but those who do will never want for anything and he would set fire to the entire earth to ensure they are safe.  Dembe is one of them, and there are a handful of others.”

            “Are you one of those people to him?”  Harper asked trying to keep jealousy out of her voice.  She hated her father, but she wanted to be one of those people.

            “I think so.”  Liz said. “I know it is better to be friends with Red than enemies.  He can be brutal at times, but other times he is caring and kind.  Surprisingly, he is a good listener and a good shoulder to lean on when you need it.” 

            “He saved Dembe from a really bad situation when Dembe was younger.” Liz said not giving details because it was not her place.  “He has done that for a few people actually.”

            “So Dembe works for Red?”  Harper asked confused about exactly who Dembe was. 

            “He is sort of like Red’s bodyguard.  They are close.”  Liz said answering her question.

            “Is it because Raymond saved him?”

            “No.” Liz said, “I am pretty sure Red would have liked Dembe to do something else. He paid for Dembe’s education and made sure Dembe never felt like he owed him for anything.”

            “So he can be a good guy who also is a monster is what you are saying.”

            Liz said, “No one is all good or all bad, but yes from what I have observed.”

            “What are you two seeing each other?”  Harper asked because she had suspected it, why else would this FBI agent go through all of this for Raymond. 

            “Oh god no.”  Liz said, “He started out as an asset.  Someone I was assigned to work with and I was simply around to get to the information he had on the bad guy’s he was willing to give to the FBI.” 

            “But it is more now?”  Harper asked mostly to see if Liz would lie to her.  It was not her strongest ability, but she could read people when she tried.

            “Yes. I am not sure when it started to change, but he grew on me.”  Liz answered honestly. 

            “Is he gay?”  Harper asked wondering if maybe she had not been wrong to think that Raymond was seeing Dembe.

            “No. “ Liz said, “I know he has seen a few women, but mostly I don’t know about that part of his life and I am ok with not knowing.”

            Harper laughed because she could understand not wanting to know the details. “Has he asked about me?”

            “Yes.” Liz said, “After we were at your house earlier.” 

            “What did he say about me?”

            “He just hopes you are happy.  He also wanted me to see if there was anything he could do for you.” Liz said honestly, “I know he spoke with Dembe about you too.” 

            “You said you would want to meet your dad, that he wasn’t a good guy…” Harper decided to turn the tables on Liz with this question.  Maybe she could understand the Agent a bit more, or at least decide if she was actually wanted to meet her father.  Part of her really did want to see him, if just to spit in his face, and another part of him just wanted to spit on his face or ignore him all together.

            Liz frowned, “I don’t remember much about him.  I was young when my father died.”  Liz rubbed the scar on her hand, “All I know is he was a criminal.” She decided to leave out the part where she was not sure what Red’s role in her fathers death.

            “How did Raymond start working with the FBI?  Did that agent Don catch him and flip him.”

            “No.” Liz was laughing at the idea of Ressler catching Red.  She had heard stories from Ressler side, and Red’s side and realized that Red was never in danger of actually being captured.  Thought Ressler did come close to killing Red once, it was all due to Red’s arrogance. “He turned himself in.”

            “Raymond actually turned himself in to help the FBI.”

            “Yes last year.  I was told he walked right into the headquarters in D.C. and turned himself in.  Went right up to the receptionist asked for the Assistant Director, and than went and kneeled in the middle of the room.”

            “That is a bit ballsy.”  Harper stated laughing at the idea.  “I can’t believe he could get that far without anyone noticing.”

            “That is how he is, ballsy.”  Liz said smiling, “And you would be surprised by the number of people who can move around unnoticed.  He has been an asset to the FBI since that day, but it’s unofficial.  No one can know about it.”  

            “I won’t tell anyone.”  Harper said thinking about her next question “How many people has he helped you catch?”

            “A lot.”  Liz said, “I cannot really give you a count, classified.  You are not even supposed to know about the agreement we made with him.”

            “Wait, didn’t he get caught awhile back.  Like two or three months ago.  It was all over the news.”  Harper remembered suddenly the day had been another busy day at the hospital but she caught the news on her drive home.

            “He staged it to get at a dangerous man.”  Liz frowned at the memory of Luther Braxton.  “Red needed to get into the secure facility, and stop the man from stealing government secrets.”

            “Kind of ironic that a traitor wants to stop another traitor.” Harper stated taking a sip of her coffee after finally remembering she had coffee.

            Liz frowned, she wanted to defend Red, but she was not sure how that would be received.  “Red is a lot of things, but I do not know if I would completely label him as a traitor.”

            “Really. Than what else do you call a man who takes secrets from naval intelligence and sales them to the highest bidders.” The anger clear in Harpers voice.

            “That is not all he has done.”  Liz stated, “He has also saved a lot of lives.”

            “With his work with you.”  Harper said.

            “Yes and even before than.”  Liz said, “There are certain things he doesn’t do.  Yes he can be a bad guy, but there is goodness in him too.”

            “I’m sure there is.  No one is all bad.” Harper said throwing Liz’s words back at her, “But some people are more bad than they are good. Raymond is more bad than good from what I have read about him, and what my mother has told me..”

            Liz knew this line of conversation would get them nowhere, so she tried to change the subject, “Red has saved my life a few times.”

            “Really.” Harper could not help but be jealous. The man who abandoned her seemed to find himself an entire new life, a happy life.  He replaced her with the agent that sat in front of her now, at least that was how it felt.  Not that she cared, of course, because she did not care about her father. Lies she told herself ever since she was a teenager.  When she was younger, she never accepted that her father abandoned them.  She was sure he would come back one day, so sure that she looked for him on each big occasion.  In their home, she spoke of him often enough that her mother started to lose her patience. It was in those moments, that her mother would tell Harper exactly who her father way and the horrible things he did and continued to do. It was only after years of hearing about how horrible he was, that she finally came to accept that her father abandoned her and her mother, and was out living a great life without them.  That he never looked back or missed them. Years of that mindset left her not to care for him at all. 

            “Yes. More times than I can count. Red has been there for me ever since he started working with the FBI.”  Liz almost added probably even before than.

            “Has he ever talked about my mother or me to you before today?”

            “Yes.” Liz said wondering if she should add the next part, “He thought you both were dead.”

            “What?”

            “This is from his file, he has not told me the story himself, and I do not think he knows I know it.  I am in no way trying to defend him.”  Liz stated trying to caution Harper against the emotions she expected to come out as Liz told her the story, “He ran out of gas on the way home Christmas Eve.” Liz waited to make sure Harper was following along with the story, “He walked in the snow to your home. Once he got there, it was empty, except for blood everywhere.”

            Harper was listening to each word Liz spoke, wondering what her motive was for telling her this.  Was she defending Raymond, as Harper expected that when it came to Raymond, the Agent before her was not able to provide an unbiased opinion about his character.

            “He was sure you were dead.”  Liz said again, “He spent years searching for the people who killed your mother and you, or so he believed.”

            “But we are alive.”

            “He knows that now.  I do not know when he found out.  If it was last year when a man went after your mother to get to Red, or if it was before. Either way he never stopped looking for the people he thought killed you, and I know he was searching for you. He had asked your mother about you and he had one of his top men looking for you.”  Liz felt the triumph rush over her because she had done what Red had not been able to do, “I know if he could he would do anything for you. He does care deeply about you, it is tearing him up that you grew up without him ever getting to know you.”

            “Too bad for him.  He should have made better choices.  If he had not been a traitor none of this would have happened.”  Harper was bitter, “Imagine how it felt, I was just a kid, and it was Christmas Eve.  I was so excited, I knew when my father got home I would get to open a gift. He always let me have one of my gifts early.  A car pulled into the driveway, and I rushed to the door to greet my father.  Instead of my father, there were men in black suits telling my mother we had to leave now.  They arrested her, and grabbed me because I was screaming and kicking.  They carried me out to the SUV and put me in the back with my mother. We were kept in a house, a room really, and I spent my Christmas huddled with my mother scared. They take her from the room and leave me with just a book.  For hours she would be gone, and she’d come back crying.  It was not until New Years that my mother convinced them she knew nothing about my father who sold secrets and who killed a family of people. I guess he burned down the house, killing everyone inside, including another little girl.  They said he did it to frame the other man, so he could continue to sale secrets to other governments, and the guy would take the fall instead. The thing is, I remember my father being ill for months after having been burnt badly.  He claimed it was an accident at work, but men who work in offices do not get severe burns all over their back.”

            It was Liz’s turn to be shocked into silence.  “Excuse me, may I use your bathroom.”  Liz got up quickly searching for the bathroom.  She barely made it inside before she felt herself start to shake. Red had burnt down her family home, or at least that was what Harper had just said.  He had been injured in the process.  Liz pushed her hands against her eyes trying to clear the memory from her mind.  The man on the floor, it had been Red.  Not her father. Red had killed her father, to frame him? Was that true?

            “Sorry.” Liz said as an apology when she returned to the living room.

            “It’s fine.”  Harper said, “I thought you would have known that bit of the story.”

            “No.” Liz said, “All I know is what was in Red’s file.  About him finding blood in his house and thinking you all were dead.” 

            “He must have lied.”  Harper said.

            “I don’t think so.”  Liz said, “You would need to see how he looked when he saw your mother.  What he did for her.” 

            “You know him better than I do.”  Harper said, “And I guess it is your job to know people.”

            “Yeah.” Liz said with a fake smile. “Anything else you want to know about him?”

            “Is he happy?”  Harper asked.

            “No.” Liz said, “He is at times, but I think most of the time he is miserable.  He hides it well though, and looking at him you would think he is living his dream life.” 

            “Good.” Harper said, “I spent years waiting for my father to come back.  Every Christmas Eve I was sure he would come home and surprise us.  He never came back.”

            “If he had, he would have put you all in danger, and he did not know you were alive.” Liz said. 

            “Why is he back now?”  Harper said.

            “He did not know you were the reason we were coming here.”

            “No I mean back in the US, back trying to be a good guy.  Is he trying to make up for years of bad deeds.”

            “No I don’t think so.”  Liz said. “I don’t know why he came back or why he is doing what he’s doing.  He is a bit of a chameleon that way.  Every time I am sure I know him, he shows a different side and it changes everything I thought I knew about him.” 

            Harper said, “I’m sorry but I do not want him in my life in any way.”

            “I understand.”  Liz said feeling defeated even thought she knew this meeting was unlikely going to change Harpers mind.  “If you ever want to talk, call me at that number.  It’s my personal cell number.  I am occasionally in town to lecture for a friends undergraduate class too.”

            “Are you going to keep tabs on me so you can report back to him?” Harper asked honestly worried.

            “No.” Liz said, “And I am sure your father will not either.”  That was a lie, she knew from now on it was likely Harper would have security around her she would never know about.  But Liz did not want to scare the woman and make her upend her life again. 

            “You really think he’ll respect my wishes and stay away?” 

            “Yes. He was angry with me for surprising both of you earlier when we visited your house.”

            “Good. I just do not need him in my life.” Harper said standing up indicating their conversation was over. 

            Liz took the hint and stood up, “One more thing.”  Liz pulled out the number Red had given her in case she was ever in need of his help.  It was another hotel number, and an alias, but he had said it would always work. “If you ever want to talk to your father or need his help, call this number and ask for Mr. van Buuren.”

            “Thanks, but I don’t think I’ll need that.”  Harper stated looking at the sheet of paper in front of her.

            “Take it please.  Put it away somewhere and forget about it.  You never know.” Liz said, “If you don’t want to talk to him a couple years from now throw it away.” 

            Harper took it from Liz and held it in her hand.  She looked down at the paper and wondered if she would ever use the number.

            “I can tell you that your father cares for you.”  Liz said, “And he would do anything for you.  Whether you ask him is up to you.  Again I am not trying to defend him or say you must meet him or forgive him.  That is up to you to figure out.”

\----------------------

 

            Red stood outside of the house watching the shadows in the windows. On the other side was his daughter alive and well.  His daughter who wanted nothing to do with him.  The chill in the night air left him shivering, and yet he stood in the dark watching. Police had passed by a few times, but they passed right by him not seeing him sitting in the dark park.

            It seemed like hours later that he saw Dembe and Liz walk out of the house, both speaking quietly too each other as they moved to the car. Red thought about walking across the park and getting a ride with them, however, he knew both parties would be mad at him for different reasons.  Liz would be upset that he came even though he had said he was staying behind, and Dembe would be mad at the risk he was taking.  Red had been careful, he had the taxi drop him off blocks away and he had walked to the park.  His gun was loaded and ready, hiding in its holster inside his coat.  He could not sit in the suite while Liz and Dembe were socializing with his daughter.  If anything, he needed to see Jennifer one more time just to know that she was ok that he had not ruined her. 

            With these thoughts he turned and walked across the park.  He knew he was walking towards one of the housing projects, but he was not too worried about it.  How likely was it that some gangster in the housing project knew how to look up hits on criminals of his caliber.  It was his arrogance that blinded him to the danger he was in.

            He knew he needed to get to the other side of the projects before a taxi would be willing to pick him up.  Liz’s cell phone was in his pocket, twice now it had gone off, with Donald trying to contact Liz. Red choose not to answer whatever Agent Ressler wanted could wait until later.  He walked briskly because of the cold towards his destination. He received a few looks, and a couple of cars drove by him slowly as he made his way across the projects, but no one seemed to bother him.

            It was on the other side that he finally stopped and pulled out the phone to call a taxi.  When he hung up the phone from the taxi company who assured him it would only be a few minutes until a taxi would pick him up, he having claimed car trouble to get the taxi company to be willing to come this close to the projects, he had the worse case of dejavu ever. Two black males walked by him wearing blue. It would not have peaked his interest as much if they had not been in the wrong part of town in those colors, and if they had not looked very much like the two males that had walked by him outside of the flower shop earlier today. 

            Red was too busy watching them, that he barely noticed the car doing a slow drive by as he walked towards the two young men.  It was than that he noticed the guns come out the window and the two males walking pulling their guns out.  He moved quickly pulling his own weapon and firing at the two men in front of him as he ducked behind a car.

            As he fired he felt what at the time felt like punch to his shoulder that sent him flying back against the car he was trying to duck behind. He fired again taking out both of the men now that had been walking towards him.   He counted at least two guns in the car, one in the front seat, another in the back, and there would be a third, a driver. 

            Standing up, he found that he arm that felt like something had punched him did not seem to want to work.  Did not matter the gun was in his other hand.  The car reversed towards him, and he fired at the back window hearing a scream.

            It was the third man that had surprised Red.  He had been hiding in a doorway when it all started, and waited until Red was too occupied with the car to notice him emerge from his hiding spot. The third man shot at Red from ten feet ahead, one of his bullets hit their desired target.

            Red dropped to the ground when he felt a searing pain in his side. He had managed to keep the gun in his hand, but it seemed to do no good because he cold not sit up.  Laying on the ground he lifted his head and moved his good arm aimed and fired, scaring the third thug away.

            He heard a car door open, someone scream, “the dude has to be toast, we got to get out of here before the police show up.”  And than tires screeched as the car tore away from the location.

            Red knew he had to move, he was in one of the areas of downtown St. Louis that were almost abandoned.  But he was too close to one of the police substations.  It would not be long before the police came.  Grabbing for the phone in his pocket he quickly dialed Dembe’s number.

            “Where are you?”  Dembe said worried Raymond had not shown up at the hotel yet.

            Red looked at the sign behind his head and told Dembe the cross streets. Red knew his adrenaline was his friend right now.  He stood up, leaning against the car more than standing.  He slowly made his way towards somewhere other than the location of two dead bodies. He managed to leave a blood trail in his wake.  He felt the bullet in his side but it was not until he shifted, and his shoulder came into contact with a car, that he realized he had been shot in the shoulder as well. The pain soon overtook him, he cried out in pain as he crashed to the ground.  His back against the tire of a car, his legs collapsed under him somehow. Any strength he had felt like it was quickly leaving his body, much like the blood pooling under him.

            Soon he realized he was struggling to breath.  He knew his chest cavity was filling with air, and soon his lung would collapse.  That would cause him to pass out, and than he would suffocate and die.  He willed himself move.  He managed to somehow drag himself slowly towards the cross street away from the scene, an ever present blood trail behind him.  It was sheer will that go him to the corner before he collapsed unable to move anymore.  

            It was only a few minutes later, but it felt like a lifetime to Red, he heard Dembe and Liz talking.  “Get in the front seat Elizabeth you are going to have to drive.” 

            Dembe tried to gently pick his friend up, but it caused Raymond to cry out, his eyes opening.  Red had not even known he had passed out between dragging himself and when Dembe showed up.

            “Sorry brother.” Dembe said carrying the severely injured Raymond to the car.  Red looked up at his friend, not trying to speak but wondering how Dembe knew where he was. In the haze of bleeding out, Red forgot he had spoken with Dembe on the phone.  Once inside Dembe slammed the door and told Liz to drive away, to not stop even for the cops.

            Dembe grabbed his knife and cut Red’s shirt and vest away from his blood soaked body.  He found the bullet hole in Red’s upper chest/shoulder.  The second one was in the lower abdomen, either of them could be contributing to the wheezing he heard from Raymond.  Dembe grabbed Liz’s purse searching for a pen, finding one, he told Liz to reach over to the glove compartment and get the duct tape out.  Liz took the corner fast, sending Red’s head into the arm rest on the door, eliciting a moan from the injured man.

            “Sorry.” She said now blindly reaching for the duct tape in the glove compartments.  She found it and passed it back to Dembe.  “What are you doing?”  She asked when she heard Red cry out in pain again, this time not because of her driving.

            “He is getting air in his chest.  I’m creating a field chest tube.”  Dembe said. “I need you to keep the car steady, I have to cut into him and if I go to far I’ll knick his lung.” Dembe ordered as he maneuvered himself, so he could hold Red down and cut at the same time.   Speaking to Red who barley had his eyes open, “My brother, you must not move”. 

            Red thought he shook his head, but he could not be sure.  He was in pain, and whatever Dembe was doing was not stopping the pain.  Red trusted the man though, to do what he must to keep him alive. 

            Dembe took a deep breath and than started to make a one inch incision between two of Red’s ribs.  He felt the body under him tense, and Red screamed in agony, but did his best not to move. Quickly, Dembe stuck the now empty cylinder of the pin into the small slit he had made in Red’s side. Air and blood came pooling out of the tube.  Dembe used the duct tape to keep the tube in place. 

            Using a mixture of Red’s shirt and Dembe’s down shirt, he used both to make dressing for the bullet wounds.  Dembe tired to get Red to use his uninjured arm to hold the dressing on his upper arm, while Dembe held his own shirt to the wound in Red’s abdomen.  Shortly after pushing Red’s hand to the shoulder wound to apply pressure, Red passed out and Dembe had to take over holding both wounds.

            “Where are we going?”

            Dembe was not sure where to take his friend.  They could not go to the hospital, even if Elizabeth could explain away why she was with the fourth most wanted man in the United States, it would not be safe.  The nearest save house was in a town three and half hours away in Bloomington, Illinois. They rarely traveled to this part of the United States. 

            “We can’t go to the hospital.”  Liz said already knowing where she was going to take Red.  She just hoped they would not get turned away.

            “Are you sure?”  Dembe said knowing by the direction Liz was driving, the same direction she had been driving the entire time without consciously knowing it. 

            “She’s our best chance.”  Liz stated not sure if she would be able to get the woman to help them, having seen the hatred the woman held for Raymond.  However, Liz knew it was Harper or Red died in the backseat of the Mercedes.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any major errors. I have been trying to get a statical model to converge for the past few days (yes days of a computer trying to estimate a model) and it had slowed my computer to a crawl. I lost patience and could not keep waiting for my laptop to unfreeze between pages in word. So I did not really edit the chapter.

            Once outside of the house, Liz threw the car in parked and rushed to the door. She banged for a few minutes before a very tired Harper answered the door. 

             “I already told you...”

            Liz stopped her in the middle of her statement, “We need your help. Raymond has been shot.”

            “Take him to the hospital.”

            “We can’t.  He won’t be safe there. The people who attacked him will come back, and if they don’t there are others that are after him. We would not be able to protect him and maintain his cover.  The local authorities cannot find out he’s working with the FBI. I would not come here if we did not have any other option.  Get him stable enough, and we will fly out of here with him.  You’ll never have to speak to him.  He’s already passed out in the car.”

            “How bad?”  Harper said hoping the answer was a few bumps at best.  She took an oath to do no harm, and to help people, and she could not let even a man like her father die because she refused to help.

            “Two bullet wounds.  Dembe put a field chest tube in.”  Liz said not completely sure what it meant, but she knew it was not good.

            “I don’t have anything here.  He’ll need a sterile environment and…” Harper ran through what she needed, “I have a friend who has a clinic. He’ll have questions.”

     “I can smooth if over with my credentials, and money if necessary.”

           Haprer  rushed away to find shoes and her phone. It was only a minute later and Harper was outside on her phone already explaining to her friend that they needed to use his clinic.  She handed Liz the phone who explained the situation the best she could, telling him he could call her office and they would confirm who she was, and she could not tell him who the patient was, but they would leave everything as they found it once the suspect was stable again. 

            The guy made a joke about this being some Jack Bauer stuff, and said as long as Harper was there and Liz was really FBI he was fine with whatever.

            Harper gasped when she saw a man who looked like an older version of her father slumped in the back seat of a black BMW.  A huge black man was sitting over him, applying pressure to a bullet wound in his abdomen, and blood and air leaking out of a pen in her fathers chest.  Closing her eyes, she counted to five, and climbed in.

            “How long ago did this happen?”

            “Ten minutes.”  Dembe answered not moving his hands.

            “Where did you learn to do a field chest tube?”

            Dembe did not answer that question, “I am sure I did it right.” Was his answer.

            Harper gave the address to the clinic, and started to work accessing the wounds and what she would need.  He’d need blood and platelets; the clinic may have some blood, but not enough. She thought of a list of people she could call that would ask few questions.

            “What is his blood type?” 

            Dembe and Liz both spoke to tell the girl his blood type. 

            “Agent Keen I need you to dial while you drive.” 

            Liz dialed the number provided, and put the phone on speaker for Red’s daughter. The GPS installed in the car was telling her where to go to get to the clinic.

            “Sharon it’s Harper.”

            “Harper I thought you are off tonight?”

            “I am. I need a favor.”

            “What can I do?”  Sharon the woman on the other end of the line asked.

            “I need some blood delivered and supplies delivered.”

            “Are you ok?”  Sharon asked clearly worried.

            “I’m fine.  I am helping out a FBI agent who has a suspect she cannot take to the hospital because of the sensitive nature of his arrest.  He’s one of the most wanted, and he also has a bounty out on him.  He has been shot twice, and I am using a friends clinic to try to save his life.”

            “Oh.” Sharon said, “Are you sure whoever is FBI?”

            “Yes. She is a friend from my undergrad days.” The lie was an easy one to tell, “And she has credentials and all.”

            “Ok. I can have one of the ambulance deliver the blood, platelets, and whatever other supplies you’ll need.”

            “Great. The agent says they’ll pay for the supplies as soon as they are delivered.  Is that ok?  We cannot leave a paper trail.”

            “No problem.  We will need you to sign for them eventually.”

            “Great thank you Sharon.” 

            “Tell me what you needed.”

            When they arrived at the clinic, Dembe had Liz pull around the back. He quickly grabbed Raymond’s lifeless body from the back seat and rushed inside, placing him on a table in one of the examine rooms.

            Dembe stepped back giving Harper the room she needed to work. She made quick work of removing the makeshift bandage covering the gunshot wounds.

            “Dembe I need your help to turn him over.”  Harper said needing to check for an exit wounds.  Raymond woke when Dembe grabbed him and turned him over, a cry of pain escaped him as he felt his body lifted off the table.

            Harper frown deepened when she noticed only the shoulder wound had an exit wound, and it was huge.  It was likely there was some damage to the bone. The abdomen was more troubling, there was no exit wound.  It meant the bullet was somewhere inside Raymond, and she doubted it would be easy to find.

            “We will need x-rays.”  She said, “I am not sure the damage to his shoulder, and the bullet is still somewhere inside his abdomen.”

            Liz waited outside for the ambulance who came rushing in with just lights on. She flashed her credentials and gave them a business card to give to Sharon.  They gave her a cooler, and cardboard box of supplies.  They left before she was in the building. Walking into the room, she saw Raymond’s eyes were open he was clenching his jaw in pain. Liz wondered if he even was aware of his surroundings.

            “Do your medical abilities extend to putting an IV in?”  Harper asked Dembe as she started to go through the contents of the box Liz had just brought in.

            “Yes.” Dembe said taking the items from Harper that he would need to insert an IV Raymond’s arm.  It took a few tries before he found a vein, not because he could not simply get a vein, but because the veins were impossible to find. He knew this was not a good sign, too much blood loss. 

            “Start fluids and blood, open the drip so it just flows. He’s lost a lot of blood.” Harper said trying to remain detached from the mangled body that lay in front of her.  “We will need to move him to the x-ray room. I really need to see where the bullet is and the damage to his shoulder.”

            With that Dembe grabbed Raymond off the table, Red grunted when his friend pulled him into his arms again.  Harper grabbed the IV and walked with Dembe into the other room.  This was not the ideal way to transport the patient but it was their best option right now. 

            Harper made quick work of getting the x-rays and developing them. Raymond was lucky she had dated an x-ray tech for awhile, and learned how to do all that encompasses x-rays. When his x-rays were ready, she studied them quickly taking note the extent of the damage in his shoulder. He collar bone looked as if it were broken, but that seemed to be the extent of damage, he was lucky on that account. The abdomen wound was more troubling, it looked as if the bullet was lodge against a rib, having broken a rib on its path to becoming lodged.  She would have to open him to pull the bullet and debris out.  The abdomen would required immediate attention, it appeared to be the main culprit behind the air and blood build up that was putting pressure on his lungs.  Making her battle plans she followed as Dembe returned Raymond to the other room.

            “Liz I need you to come over here and try to help Dembe hold him down. I need to do a real chest tube now and I don’t have time to let the pain killers kick in.” Harper called to Liz as she quickly measured a dose of pain killer and inserted the needle into Raymonds IV.

            Liz moved quickly grabbing Red’s upper body.  Dembe had his legs.  Together they were able to hold Raymond down to the table, as Harper worked on removing the pen Dembe had inserted and replacing with a proper chest tube. She decided she would need to insert a second one later, but for now, it would do.

            “Liz look in the cabinet over there.  The keys should be at the front desk.  There should be some type of portable heart rate monitor. We need to keep track of his heart rate and blood pressure while I operate.”

            Liz ran to the front desk, and found the keys, and rushed back. Her hands were shacking so bad, that Dembe came over and took over for her.  He found the machine and quickly rushed back to Raymond and started applying the leads.   Liz made herself useful and found a plug and inserted it into the wall. 

            Red was passed out again, and had no idea of the frenzy going on around him. His heart rate was calming to all in the room, it was weak, but there. 

            Once everything was set, Harper quickly put gloves on her hands and went to work.  She made a cut and started repairing the damage before her.  Working her way to the bullet. Luckily the clinic had the stiches that would dissolve, allowing her to apply many internal stitches as necessary. This included repairing an intestine that had been nicked.  She counted her lucky stars that Raymond already seemed to have had his spleen removed, meaning she did not have to worry about it or having to remove it.  His liver was intact, another lucky result for him. When she got to the bullet she pulled it out easily, and removed splinters from his rib that had been broken. His lungs appeared intact and unharmed. She cleaned the wounds and checked for any bleeders she missed.  Finding none, she made quick work of closing the wounds.  She choose stitches because it was all she had.

            Finishing with the abdomen she moved to the shoulder would. Through all of the work, the soft beeping of the heart monitor told her that her patient was still alive. She could not think of what would happen if he died.  It would be so final, and she was not sure if she was ready to be responsible for having a hand in killing the man that abandoned her and just so happen to be her biological father. An orthopedic surgeon would be helpful about right now, she thought bitterly as she tried to do what she could to repair the shoulder wound.

            It was over an hour before she finished with both wounds.  Before she could consider herself done, she had to insert another chest tube.  She made quick work of putting the second chest tube in.  Raymond was not out of the woods yet, infection was extremely likely, and she could have missed something.  However, for now she did all she could. 

            “We need to start a drip for antibiotics, and I will need to go to the hospital to get a stronger antibiotic, more pain medication, and….”  She listed more things off but no one was listening to her.  She noted it after she finished her list. Instead of listening to her, the two others in the room were watching Raymond’s chest rise and fall. Their emotions were clear, more so in the female agent than Dembe, but she saw the concern in Dembe’s eyes. How did this man get these people to care about him so much? 

            She looked at her hands that had his blood on them from when she was in the car working on him, “Does he have any diseases I should know about?” Now worried about her own self.

            “No.” Dembe said, “He’s clean.”

            “Good.” Harper said, “We can let him rest here for awhile, but you need to move him before they open in the morning.”

            Dembe frowned, he was not sure where he could move Raymond. He knew his friend was in no shape to fly out in the morning, even if they could get a plane.  However, he knew Red would not want to go anywhere that would put Liz or Harper in danger.  There were few options, he could not keep Red here, Red could not fly out, the hotel was not an option for obvious reasons. 

            “I have a friend with a van.  Liz can you come with me, we get what I need from the hospital and a stretcher. I can drive my friends van back and we can load him and take him wherever.”

            Harper saw the look on Dembe’s and Liz’s face. “You don’t have anywhere to take him.”

            “Not really.”  Liz said.

            Harper sighed.  She wanted to let them figure it out, but she knew Raymond would need medical treatment, a real medical doctor for the next couple of days to watch him.  To watch his fluid levels, the output in the chest tube, check for infections, and a host of other things that would be necessary after a major trauma.  She doubted even with the medical training Dembe appeared to have, that he would know what all to look for.  Once again, she was being forced to help the man who she hated.  However, she could not let him just die, he was her father after all.

            “You can come back to my place.  I’ll need to keep an eye on him anyways. It will be at while before he is stable enough to fly or handle a long drive.  I want to be able to remove the chest tubes fore he flies out, and there is likely going to be an infection and fever that I will need to make sure does not take over.”

            “Thank you.”  Liz said knowing the woman was going above and beyond anything she was comfortable with.

            “We cannot.”  Dembe spoke up, Red would be pissed if he woke at Harpers house.  Red would already be upset that they had pulled Harper into this situation, but to go to her house would put her in danger.  Red’s enemy wanted him dead, and would not think twice about killing everyone around him when they found Red.  Harper lived in St. Louis, and she would need to be able to continue to live there when Red flew away. 

            “I can’t let him die.  He may be a bastard, but he’s a human.”  Harper said noticing Dembe flinch at her statement.  “Do you have another doctor you can call to take care of him? Because he is no where near out of the woods yet.”

            “We can find someone.”  Dembe said not sure he would be able to get Mr Kaplan down to St. Louis in time for her to stop the likely infection that was already festering inside Red. Last he knew Kaplan was in California.

            “We cannot stay here.”  Liz said not understanding why Dembe was refusing Harpers help.  “We are taking him to Harpers.  She can help him, and the minute he can leave we will get on the plane and go.”

            Dembe knew that he would not be able to win against Liz, and decided to give in, “I’ll stay here with him and call if anything changes.” He’d deal with Red’s anger later, but right now it was the only option.  They would just need to make sure no one could follow them back to Harpers, that way Red’s enemies would not know where he was, and Harper would not be in danger. 

            Dembe shook his head pulling up a chair next to the pale Raymond. He took his friends hand and noted how cold it was. 

            Harper left the room and returned seconds later with a blanket, she covered Raymond the best she could.  She barely remembered the man that lay on the table, but she could tell he meant a lot to the people in the room.  Again he was a bastard, but a human one that happened to be her father, and she showed empathy for his friends or associates in the room. 

            Liz drove them, both women ignoring the rustic smell of blood coming from the back seat. 

            “How long have you know Raymond?”  Harper asked Liz as she drove them towards Harper’s friends house.

            “A couple of years.”  Liz said.

            “Through your work at the FBI?”

            “Yes.”

            “What do you do at the FBI?”

            “I’m a profiler. I was assigned to your…” catching herself she quickly changed it to, “Red’s case.”

            “Dembe seems like a good guy.  I do not understand how he could work with a man like my father.”

            “Raymond is not a bad guy.  He’s done bad things, but he’s not a bad guy.”  Liz said, “He has helped a lot of people.”

            “Save the speech for later.  Agent Ressler showed me pictures of things my father has done, he told me stories. My father is a monster.”

            They drove in silence the rest of the way to the hospital.  Harpers friend would meet her there with the van, and take the train back home.  Luckily, the metro happened to be right outside of the hospital, and his home was not too far from one of the other stations.   

            Harper found her boss inside the hospital and explained that she would need a few days off for personal reasons.  While she was talking to her boss, she directed Liz to Sharon’s office with a list of additional supplies.  This way Liz could get the supplies and also help Sharon with the paperwork.


	5. Chapter 5

            When Harper and Lizze returned to the clinic, both were relieved to find that the patient was still alive.  Harper was working quickly to unpack the necessary supplies to get the patient ready to be moved.  She wondered why she was so clam, was it her training?  It had been a long 24 hours.  She had not only learned her father was back in the US in her city but he had been shot. She had tended to him, in a clinic, not a hospital.  She managed to somehow perform life saving surgery in a clinic, for a man she barely remembered and had nothing nice to say about.  Yet her she was still taking care of him and she felt calm.  This was not normal, no even close.  How could she be so calm, she had her hands inside her estranged father’s body.  The same man was lying unconscious on a clinic exam table.  Shaking the thoughts away she chalked everything up to her training and her desire to help whenever she could. 

            “You wouldn’t happen know how to be a catheter in?”  Harper asked Dembe not really interested in doing that for her estranged father. 

            “No.” Dembe said uncomfortable with the idea of what was about to happen.

            Harper once again put gloves on her hands, and went to work not thinking about whom she was working on.  Once she finished she took the gloves off and found new ones.  Checking the stiches she was happy to find they all looked good still, his chest tubes had a decent output.  Everything seemed to indicate he was ok, for now.  She finished her work by connecting a new heart monitor that she borrowed from the hospital.  It connected to his index finger, and would allow her to track his temperature. His temperature was elevated, but not too unexpected given the trauma.  The new antibiotics she would start once he finished off the first set should help fight any infection, and she was prepared to obtain stronger ones.

            The entire time Liz and Dembe stood back watching Harper work. Neither of them knew what to do, but neither of them could leave the room either.  Both of them were worried for Raymond, and both were angry with the stubborn man.  If he had stayed at the hotel none of this would be happening. 

            “We can probably move him if we are careful.”  Harper said, “We need to make sure we do not jostle the chest tubes too much.”

            Dembe took Red gently into his arms, carefully carrying his boss out the back of the clinic to a waiting van.  He placed Red in the backseat taking up residence between his unconscious brother and the seat to ensure no harm came to Red during the drive to Harpers house.

            Harper would drive the van.  Liz had already stashed the Mercedes away at the hotel parking garage, and so she would ride in the front seat with Harper.  Liz was watching to make sure no one was following them, as was Dembe. No one spoke the entire drive to Harpers house, the only noise came from the occasional soft moan from Red when the van jostled him.

            Once outside of Harpers house, Dembe checked the street to ensure no one was around before he carried Red out of the van.

            Inside the house, Harper asked, “Do you think you can get him up the stairs without too much trouble?”

            Dembe answered, “Yes.”  Red was heavy in his arms, but Dembe would do anything for the man he considered to be his brother.

            “I think he would be more comfortable in the guest room bed, then on the pullout in the study.”  Harper said wondering why she was caring about the bastards comfort, or doing any of this. It was insane. Yesterday she had been digging bullets out of gang members looking forward to a quiet time away from the hospital. In the past 12 hour, her father who abandoned her was dying, she saved him, digging bullets out of him. He was working with the FBI, there was the entire conversation with Liz, and just too much.

            Harper rushed ahead of Dembe and made sure to get the bed ready before Dembe got to the room.  Once inside, Harper had Dembe lay Red on the bed.  She arranged his IV’s so that they were hanging from metal headboard like a makeshift IV poll, reconnected the heart monitor wires to his chest, and the thermometer to his finger.  Once she finished, she gently pulled the covers over his body, hoping the warmth would bring him some comfort. 

            “I will sit with him.”  Dembe said taking a seat in a chair that sat in the corner of the room. 

            Seeing and hearing the determination in Dembe’s voice stopped any protest Harper may have had, “Do you want anything?   A bagel, some coffee?”

            “Water please.”  Dembe said not taking his eyes from Raymond’s unconscious form.

            Harper left the room wondering why Dembe, a person who seemed to be such a great man, was so loyal to a bastard like her father.  When did he become her father, she wondered to herself too, instead of Raymond or just the bastard. 

            When she got back downstairs, Liz had already closed all of the shades and curtains.  Liz was on a cellphone with someone named Cooper explaining Red’s condition.

            Quickly she grabbed two bottles of water and returned to the room upstairs. She handed Dembe a bottle and set a second once on the night stand.  “Are you sure you can stay awake to watch him?  The next hours are important.”

            “I am fine.”  Dembe said knowing his limits.  He had at least another 24 hours before he would not be able to stay alert enough to keep an eye on his injured friend.

            “Ok.” Harper said taking note of Raymond’s vitals.  “There are a few things you need to watch for and come get me if they occur.  The first is his temperature.  If it does not go down over the next hour you need to come get me. I could have missed some debris or the debris carried in an infection.  Either way, we need to stay ahead of any possible infection.  If infection takes hold, he will have to go to the hospital. I cannot treat him here.” Dembe nodded understanding her statements.

            “Next you need to keep an eye on his blood pressure.  I am confident I fixed all of the internal damage, but it’s not always guaranteed the stiches will hold.  If his blood pressure decreases, there could be internal bleeding that will need to be treated.  Also check the output in the chest tubes.  No output is not good, we could have shifted them moving him.  Too much output is bad too.  Again could be due to internal bleeding.  Also his urine output.  His body went through a trauma, and while I did not use anesthesia to fix this trauma, however there could be complications with his kidneys due to trauma.  It is also a side effect of the antibiotic. Changing the antibiotic won’t be too hard, but if it is due to trauma, than he will have to go to the hospital.”

            Harper paused to make sure Dembe understood everything, “Breathing, while the chest tubes should keep his chest from filling with fluid or air, it may not be enough.  If he seems like he is struggling to breathe come get me.  Also, his heart rate is important too.  If it starts to increase, it could be an indication of a lot of things. In his case, I would guess pain. The pain medicine he is on is moderately strong.  He may need more, but I want to wait to make sure his internal organs are working properly to filter it out. It also could be a sign of fluid building around his heart. Either way, it is important you come get me fast so I can access and fix it if I can.”

            “I will watch for all of these.”  Dembe said having enough general knowledge to know what she was asking him to look out for.  This was not his first rodeo.

            “I am going to go rest down the hallway.  If you need me wake me.  Feel free to make yourself at home if you need anything just get it.”

            “Thank you.”  Dembe said thanking her for much more than just her statements. 

            Harper was not sure how to respond so she just forced a smile and said, “He seems strong.  I’m sure he’ll make it.” She left the room after that statement, leaving behind many questions that seem to rise to the surface each time she looked at her estranged father. 

            Before she went to lay down, she checked on Liz to make sure she had everything she needed.

            “How is he doing?”  Liz asked standing in the living room having just hung up from Cooper who was not too happy about the latest development.

            “Resting.” Harper was not sure how comfortable he was, but it seemed like something to say. “You should rest too. He will unlikely not wake until tomorrow.  His body needs time to recover from the trauma.”

            “Is Dembe watching him?”

            “Yes he wouldn’t leave the room.” 

            “Red means a lot to Dembe.”  Liz stated for no reason other than she knew Red meant a lot to a handful of people, her being one of them. 

            “You should rest now.  There is another room upstairs.” When Liz went to protest, Harper cut her off, “You can help him by taking care of yourself.  Dembe can watch him for awhile.” 

            “I want to stay down here just to be safe.  I’ll sleep on the couch.”  Liz said looking at the couch knowing she would not sleep.

            “There is a comfortable futon in my office.  If you must stay on the first floor you can rest in there.” Harper stated knowing the futon was more than comfortable having purchased the cushion separate from the frame to ensure she did not get the cheap uncomfortable cushion that came with the frame. This was especially made. She had spent a few nights on it when she drifted off to sleep reading medical journals or working on her own journal articles. “There are spare blankets in the closet in that room too.”

            “Thank you.”  Liz said.

            “If you need anything else please feel free to get it.  I will be upstairs in the last room in the hallway if you need me.” Harper left Liz to rest and made her way to her own bedroom.  She stopped for a few seconds outside of the room her estranged father lay unconscious in watching Dembe watch him.  What had her father done to make these two people care so much about him? She could not help but feel a pang of jealousy at the idea that he had a happy life.  Many of times after she had learned the truth, she had wished horrible things on him for abandoning his family. For abandoning her. The hatred that had filled her teens receded some, but the feelings of abandonment never did. He choose this life over his family, she thought bitterly as she walked into her room. 

            Despite the days events she found herself quickly drifting off to sleep. If anything her restful sleep proved her college roommate right, Harper could sleep through almost anything when she was tired enough.  She would dream of when she was a child and the walks around a pond not far from her house, where her father would tell her tales of life on the high seas. Stories so descriptive that her child imagination would turn the pond into a vast ocean and she could feel the wind on her face as she and her beloved father would sail across to a foreign land in search of adventure.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red is finally awake!!! (yeah I got bored too)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As with the other posting sorry if it's crap. Phd Exhaustion+ graduation+moving+jobs+grading+real life demands my undivided attention+learning disabilities=shit writing without editing. That's why I have a co-author in RL he edits, i do the stats and have the big ideas.

            Despite her best efforts Liz drifted off to sleep on the comfortable futon. She somehow managed to find a position that had her legs stretched out in front of her too the floor, her head resting on the arm of the futon.  It was half between laying and sitting, and yet she was comfortable. It was a pained scream that woke her from this comfortable position. 

            Her eyes snapped open and she reached to her holster getting ready to pull her gun. It only took seconds for her to get her bearings and realize where she was.  Quickly to her feet she rushed towards the stairs where she heard muffled voices. Taking the steps two at a time she made it to the top and was outside of the room she had left Red in a matter of seconds.

            “What is going on?”  She asked heart racing in the excitement.

            Dembe and Harper were standing over Red.  Dembe holding Red’s legs down, while Harper had a hand on each of his shoulders trying not to aggravate his injuries.

            “His temperature is too high.”  Harper said, “We are using ice packs to lower it.”

            By Red’s attempt at thrashing it was clear he was not enjoying this experience.

            “What can I do to help?”

            “Help me hold him down so he does not hurt himself.”  Harper said indicating that Liz should go to Raymond’s uninjured side.

            Liz held his shoulder feeling the heat radiating off his body.

            “If we cannot get his temperature down we have to take him to the hospital.” Harper said using her free hand to reposition the icepacks into Red’s armpits and on his neck again.  It was a last ditch effort, having already changed the antibiotics once to something stronger, she was not sure what more she could do. His stiches seemed fine. They were not red and had no indication of infection.  Yet his temperature was raising.

            “How long does he need the ice on him?”  Dembe asked worried about his brother. 

            “A few more minutes.”  Harper replied checking the monitors again.

            Red’s eyes opened, but they were unfocused.  He started to mumble, “I’ll be good.  I won’t do it again.  I’m sorry dad.”

            No one said anything as the older man below them begged some unknown figure to let him up, to remove the ice.  Each person avoided looking at Red and looking at each other.  This was something they all knew Red would never tell another soul freely, and only under his delirium was it coming out.

            “How much longer?”  Liz asked.

            “Not much longer.” 

            Liz started to try to comfort Red, “Shh it’s ok Red.  You just have a fever.  We are trying to reduce it.”

            “Lizze…” Red’s rough voice whined.

            “Yes. Red it’s me.  It’s fine.  Just try to relax.”

            “Can’t.” Red spoke in a pained weak voice.

            Harper sighed in relief when she saw his temperature was lowering slowly. She looked down and saw the bloodshot eyes of her estranged father on her. “Jennifer?”

            She did not know what to say, he looked confused to see her standing over him.

            “Are you alive?”  Red croaked confused about the person standing before him.

            “I’m alive.”  She said, “Go back to sleep.”  Her voice was soft when she spoke the words.   Her heart almost broke when she saw the relief on his face when she confirmed she was alive, and a few seconds later he was asleep again, the pain medicine she had administered earlier taking him back under.

            “He’s asleep we can let him go.”  She said to the others removing her hands.

            No one spoke for a few minutes, they each watched the temperature indicator on the heart monitor as it slowly lowered to an acceptable temperature. Harper removed the ice packets and pulled a thin blanket to cover Red’s naked body.  

            “Does he need to go to the hospital?”  Dembe asked already trying to figure out the best way to make sure Red and all involved would be safe a trip to the hospital was required.

            “We will know in a half hour.  If his temperature stays down than no.”  Harper said. “I’m going to clean and redress his wounds. Why don’t you go shower and change.”

            Dembe still had his bloody clothes on. He gave into her suggestion knowing that there was not much he could do right now for Raymond. 

            “What can I do to help?”  Liz asked.

            “I called in a stronger antibiotic.  Do you think you can take my car and go pick it up?” 

            “Yes.” Liz said unsure if she should leave when Dembe was in the shower.

            “He really needs a stronger antibiotic now.” 

            “I’ll go get it now.”  Liz prioritized his immediate needs over the probability that whoever was after Red knew where they were. 

            After Liz left the room Harper pulled back the blanket just enough to revealed Red’s wounds.  Grabbing her kit she gently cleaned around the stitches with a strong antiseptic. Now that she was not working frantically to preserve his life, she noticed the scars etched on his torso. He had many different scars, some looked liked knife wounds, while others were burns.  The burns were in even rows, which made her think they were not by chance, but likely due to torture.  What had her estranged father done to warrant being tortured? Who tortured him? There was evidence of other bullet wounds too.  His life had not been as easy as it had appeared to be than.  He clearly had been in similar circumstances as now, which explained his bodyguards field medicine knowledge. 

            Finishing her fingers gently pushed the tape against his skin to hold the clean gauze over the wounds.  Once down, she pulled the thin cover back over him.  Heat was radiating off his body, and yet he was shivering. She prayed to a god she did not believe in that the infection wherever it was would give in and let the antibiotics clear it away.  It was this disturbing thought that made her realize she cared, even though she did not want to care about the man who abandoned her, she cared. 

            Dembe returned to the room in clean clothes Liz had gathered when she returned the bloodied car to the hotel. 

            “You look exhausted.”  Harper said, “Why don’t you go rest in the other room.  I need to stay with him for awhile to make sure his temperature stays down, and change the antibiotic over when Liz gets back.”

            “Liz left?” Dembe asked.

            “To go get the antibiotic I called in earlier.”  Harper said.

            Dembe was uncomfortable with Liz venturing out on her own, but he trusted her skills enough to make it back.  Raymond would have been furious if he knew though. 

            “Go rest.”  Harper said, “After you get a few decent hours of sleep I will let you take over again.”

            “I will rest when Liz gets back.”  Dembe said leaning against the wall to leave Harper the chair to sit in.

            “Fine.” Harper stated moving over to the chair to sit. 

            They stayed just like that for about ten minutes before the silence annoyed Harper. “How long have you known Raymond?”

            “Awhile.” Dembe answered taking his eyes from his friend to look at Harper. 

            “How did you meet?”

            “Raymond saved me.”  Dembe said, “And saw to me when I needed help.”

            “So you help him now because of that?”  Harper asked.

            Dembe did not like talking, especially about his past, but he also hated being rude, especially to someone who had been kind enough to open her home to them and save Raymond’s life, “No.  I help him because he is my brother. “

            “So you care for him and he cares for you?”

            “Yes.”

            “What does he do? I know he sold secrets, but he had to do more than that to get to number for on the FBI most wanted list.”

            “His business is not for me to discuss with you.”  Dembe stated not willing to tell Red’s daughter about illegal dealings.

            “Does he have a thing for Liz?”  Harper asked, “She seems to care for him much more than an FBI agent should.”

            “He has looked after her wellbeing.”  Dembe answered clearly not enjoying the conversation, but it did not stop Harper from talking.

            “Has he ever spoken about me or my mother?”

            “Not often.”  Dembe said, not mentioning that on some of the darkest nights Red had spoken of his family. Those dark nights usually came when there the hope of finding out what had happened to his family was wiped away by a dead end lead.

            Harper had many more questions, but she knew Dembe would unlikely answer most of them.  Instead she shifted gears, “What does a bodyguard for the number four on the FBI most wanted list do for fun?”

            “I read.”  Dembe answered.

            “What types of books?”

            “Classic fiction.”  Dembe had got his love of reading from Raymond who had encouraged it when Dembe had been younger.

            “What is your favorite?”

            “I do not know.   There are too many good books to choose from.” 

            “Do you have a family?”  
            “Other than Raymond, no.”

            The back and forth of question and answered continued until Liz appeared with the new antibiotics.

            “Did you have any trouble?”  Dembe asked her when she walked into the house.

            “None. No one followed me.”

            Harper switched out the antibiotics, and crossed her fingers hoping this would work.  Dembe, true to his word, went and rested as soon as he was sure the house was secure.

            Harper grabbed a medical journal out of her study and sat in the room with Red. She did not spend as much time as she had hoped reading, instead she found herself looking over to the sleeping form of her estranged father.  The questions she had swirling around her head, she would never get answers for because she would never ask him.  He did not deserve the chance to explain himself.  Once he was healthy enough she would leave him to recover, only check on him to change bandages, and once he could move she’d kick them out of her house. She realized she would likely have to move again, change her name, if she wanted to truly get away from him.

            The first indication she had that her estranged father was waking was the occasional jerk of his fingers.  The second was an increase in his heart rate, she attributed it to pain, but she wanted to wait for him to wake up before she tried to increase the dosage on his pain medication.  When she heard the gasp, she set down her medical journal and walked over to the side of his bed. His eyes were shut, but his face was clearly contorted in pain.

            She was not sure what to call him, Raymond?  Reddington?  Red?

            When his eyes opened she saw the familiar orbs from her childhood looking at her. Now as an adult she saw the pain in them, both physical and mental anguish.

            “Jennifer?” It was a question, as if he was not sure she was really there standing over him.  Had he died?  It did not feel like he was dead. He had always pictured death like a light bulb.  One second you are full of life and the pain that comes with life.  The next you have burnt out, turned dark, and whatever pain there was would be gone. 

            There was both physical and mental pain right now.  His arm ached with a white-hot pain shooting down from his shoulder to the tip of his fingers.  Each breath felt like someone was poking him with a knife. Taking his own assessment he deduced he had broken ribs, and something was truly wrong with his arm as he could not seem to move it.

            “It is me.”  She said awkwardly. “Can you give me a rating on your pain from 1 to 10, 10 being unbearable.”

            He tried to swallow what little salvia he had in his mouth, as his throat felt like it was bone try.  “Five.” He lied of course, he could not be weak in front of his daughter. 

            “Liar.” She called him on it, “The only way this is going to work is if you tell me the truth.”

            “Nine.” He answered his brain was still a bit foggy and he just now realized he was not in a hospital. “Where am I?”

            “Dembe and Liz brought you to me severely injured.  You were shot twice.  I fixed the wounds and we transferred you to my house.”

            No. Dembe was not that stupid, he had to know any contact with Red would put Jennifer in danger.  Red tried to sit up, but his arm would not cooperate and help him push up.  He tried again this time using one arm.  Why was he so weak he could not push himself up much?  The pain was excruciating, but he learned a long time ago how to work through the pain. He was able to push himself a bit off the bed before Harper saw what he was doing and gently put her hand on his good shoulder to push him back down. 

            “What are you doing?”  She snapped having turned around only for a few seconds to get additional pain medication.

            “I need to leave.”  Red said feeling a fool because he could not even muster enough strength to overpower her gentle push on his good shoulder.  Laying back down he panted the pain was horrible.  If he took small breaths the pain was a bit less, but still too much.

            “I’m giving you some more pain medication.  You have quite a tolerance.”  Harper said inserting the needle directly into his arm and pushing the plunger down. “You need to remain relatively still for now.  You have two chest tubes. I do not want you undoing the work I did.”

            “Where is Dembe?”  Red asked anger in his weak voice.

            “Resting.”

            “Please go get him.”  Red asked the fist on his good arm clenching.

            “Why so you can yell at him?”

            “I need to speak with him.”   

            “It can wait until he wakes up.”  Harper said noticing how her estranged father jaw was clenched shut, pain or anger or both?  Both she thought as she saw his face twitch.  He clearly was not used to people telling him no.  “And when he wakes up, if you think you are going to get away with yelling at him think again.  I have a nice sedative here that will knock you out quickly.  I will use it to prevent you from doing any more damage to yourself or undoing any of my work.” 

            “Those idiots put you in danger by asking for your help.”

            “Those idiots saved your life.”  Harper snapped back at him. 

            “Jennifer, each second I am here you are in danger.”

            “My name is Harper now.”  Jennifer snapped, “And I am sure between your body guard and the FBI agent we are safe.”

            “No you are not.”  Red said, “The man who ordered me death will come after me.  If my body does not show up in the morgue, he will know I’m alive and he will find me.”

            “What did you do to piss him off?”  Harper asked as she started to prepare the sedative she had spoken of previously. Her estranged father was clearly agitated and it was showing in his vitals. 

            Red did not answer the question, instead his eyes turned to the door where Liz stood.

            “You are awake.”  Liz said from the doorway.

            “He just woke up.”  Harper said turning back to Red with the needle.

            “Don’t you dare stick me with that.”  Red snapped trying to look around her body that now blocked his view of Liz in the doorway.  “Agent Keen we need to talk.”

            Harper did not listen, she moved over to his bad arm and smiled at him, “You need to rest.  This will help you.”

            “Keen what in the world made you think this was a good idea? You promised me you would make sure she was safe and that she would not be compromised by me being here.” The pain was there, but now anger overtook any pain he felt.  If his body did not feel so heavy, he’d of been off the bed in Lizzie’s face screaming right now.

            “She’s right here you don’t need to yell.”  Harper said pushing the needle into the IV where Red could not reach her with his good arm, “And I invited them.  It was that or you would likely died.  Do you really want to die?  Because that is what will happen if you leave here now or if they had not brought you here.” 

            Red glared at Liz unable to bring himself to yell at his Jennifer even as he watched her inject the sedative into his IV.  He fought the sleep and pleaded with Liz, “We need to leave now…wake Dembe we can make it out of town.”

            “Just rest.”  Jennifer said her hand moving to his good arm to gently rub it in a reassuring way, “Everything will be fine. No one will find you here.”

            Red’s eyes closed against his will as the drug took him back under into sleep.

            “I knew he’d be upset.”  Liz said, “I should have warned you.”

            “It’s fine.” Harper stated. Her own internal dialogue was running in circles.  Part of her hated the man in the bed, but another part of her was touched by his concern for her. His willingness to die instead of put her in danger.  He had cared about her, and maybe just maybe he had not abandoned her and her mother. No, she told herself, he had abandoned them, her mother had told her many of times.  This was just an old man who regretted that choice. Better to get him stable enough to survive a long car ride so that they could all leave her life. “You should go rest some more. He’s going to be asleep for awhile.”

            “Do you mind if I cook some breakfast?”

            “Sure. I might have some eggs or something in the kitchen.”  Harper could not remember the last time she went grocery shopping.

            “If not I’ll go shopping once Dembe wakes up.  If you want something just make a list and I’ll pick it up.” Liz was trying to make their stay as unobtrusive as possible.  It truly was kind of Harper to offer them her home to allow Red time to recuperate.

            Harper nodded in response still looking down at the figure of her estranged father. 

            “I’ll leave you alone.”  Liz said before taking her leave.  Secretly, she smiled because she could see that Harper clearly cared for Red. Maybe, just maybe, Liz’s attempt to do something nice for Red would work out after all.

            Red was clearly still agitated in his sleep as his jaw clinched and unclenched over and over, along with his fist.

            “Relax.” Harper said her hand on his forehead feeling the remaining heat from the slight fever he had, “Everyone is safe. You are in a safe place.”

            “Doesn’t exist.” Red mumbled stuck somewhere between sleep and consciousness. 

            “What doesn’t exist?” Harper asked confused.

            “Safety.”

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for not updating sooner. I have three other stories I am working on (not posted anywhere yet) and they sometimes win out.

            The next time Red woke he heard soft music playing, it was old scratchy blues music.  After a few lines he deduced it was Bessie Smith singing the “Down in the dumps”.

            Searching the room taking in his surroundings, he began to take account of the injuries he had sustained.  He was in much less pain than the last time he woke, and this time he was not confused. Dembe and Liz, those fools, had taken him to Jennifer’s, correction, Harpers, for medical treatment after he was shot.  

            His eyes settled on Jennifer sitting in a chair a few feet from the bed. She had her legs curled up under her, a cardigan sweater on, and she was reading a medical journal. She did not seem to notice he was awake, and he did nothing to draw attention to himself.  He enjoyed these few minutes of studying his daughter without her knowing he was watching her. 

            She had dyed her hair, he noted.  Whatever she was reading had her full attention.  He interpreted that as she enjoyed her work because he had read an academic journal and mostly they were not overly entertaining. The people who worked in the specific field might be fascinated, but outsiders would just see jargon and other nonsensical information.  Stress was another emotion he could clearly see on her.  Having him appear all of the sudden injured severely was the likely culprit. Lizzie and Dembe would hear about it as soon as he got a chance.  Dembe knew that if it came down to his life or someone he cared about, the others person life mattered more. So why was he here, in his estranged daughters house putting her in grave danger?

            Harper could not stop the smile that reached her face when she saw he was awake. “How are you feeling?”

            Red startled when she spoke to him, not having taken her eye off the journal she had been reading.  “Ok.” His voice cracked when he spoke, his throat burned.

            Harper grabbed the water bottle she had brought up earlier, and opened it. She helped Red life his head off the pillow and gently brought the bottle to his lips and let him take a few small sips of water.  When he indicated he was done, she asked “Pain rating?”

            “Five.”

            “Is that the honest answer?”

            “Yes.” Red said shifting in the bed causing pain to shoot through his body.

            “What hurts?”  She asked noticing him grimace.

            “Besides everything?”

            “What hurts the most?”

            “My back is bothering me.”  Red answered, “I need to sit up.”

            Harper got up from her spot, “We can arrange that, if you promise to remain calm and in that bed.”

            Red shook his head.

            “I will give you another sedative if you start getting worked up. You are in no shape and you need to rest.  I worked way too hard to keep you alive for you to ruin that by being stubborn.”

            “I will try to remain calm.”  Red croaked at her.

            “Good. Let me go get someone to help.”  Harper left the room to get Dembe to help her lift Red up some so he could sit up in the bed.  She also grabbed a few extra pillows from her room to help prop him up so he would be comfortable.

            Back in the room, Dembe gently helped Red sit up, Harper ensuring the chest tubes were not jostled too much.  Between Dembe and her they were able to get him comfortable enough.  “If you are sitting up I insist that you wear the sling.”  She said producing a sling from a box of supplies.

            Red did not argue with her and he let her help him get the sling on.

            “What is your pain level now?”  She asked.

            “Still a five.”

            “Ok. Let me know if it gets any higher. You are on a morphine drip, but previously it did not seem to be enough.”  She said checking his heart rate and studying him to make sure he was not lying to her about the pain level. 

            “Where is Lizzie?”  Red asked surprised she was not in the room.  He would expect Lizzie to be questioning Jennifer to try to get bits of Red’s past, and maybe bits of their shared past out of Jennifer. Harper. He reminded himself, she wants to be called Harper.

            “She is at the store.”  Dembe answered.

            “By herself.”  Red questioned upset that she would be alone when Paul was after him.  Paul would not hesitate to take Liz if it meant he could get to Liz.  The man would know by now that Red was not dead and surely would be searching for him.

            “No.” Dembe said, “I called in some favors and we were able to get a few trusted contacts down here. One of them is watching over Liz now. The others are stationed around the neighborhood to make sure the house is safe.” 

            Red relaxed a bit knowing that at least right now Harper was safe, and so was Lizzie. He was not sure what he would do if anything happened to either of them because of him. 

            Harper went to turn the music off but Red stopped her, “Please lave it on.”

            “Sure.” Harper said turning away from her phone she had docked in a set of speakers.  “You like Bessie Smith?”

            “Yes. I love most music.” Red said shifting in the bed holding in a groan as pain shot through him as he moved. 

            “Raymond as soon as Harper clears you, we have a safe house set up in D.C. for you to recover in.”  Dembe spoke in an attempt to try to assuage any anger Red might be feeling at his being at his estranged daughters house.  It was an easy decision when it came down to letting Raymond die or doing his best to keep the man alive and protect those he cared about.  Red would not see it that way, but it was their only option.

            “Good.” Red spoke, “How long will that be? The sooner we get out of your life I’m sure the better.” 

            Harper was shocked at his eagerness to leave, she expected the man before her to do his best to weasel his way into her life.  It was what her mother had warned her about years ago. That her father was not a good man, that he would manipulate her and user her for his own personal gain. That he would trick her and make her think it was all about her, when it truly was all about his drive to achieve whatever he wanted.  It also hurt that he did not seem to want to know her.  Liz had asked her more questions about her life than her father had in the few minutes he’s been awake.

            “A week at the earliest.”

            “Is there anything we can do to move that up?”  Red asked when he saw the emotion flash across his estranged daughters face, he added, “Each second I am here you are in danger.” 

            “No. There is no way we can move that time frame up.  With the chest tube in I want you to remain relative immobile. I do not want to take it out too early, fluid build up in your chest could cause a lot of problems.” Harper felt a bit better after he explained why he was in a rush to get away. 

            Red shifted in the bed again, holding a groan in.  It was uncomfortable to be in this house with his daughter. His living breathing daughter who was a doctor of all things.  Not just any doctor but a surgeon and clearly a good once since he was still alive. “Ok.  I will do my best to not be a horrible patient.”

            Dembe snorted at Red’s comment. 

            “What?” Red said looking at Dembe.

            “You are the worst patient ever.  The only person I have seen you be nice to is Kate.”  Dembe replied.

            “That is because Kate could easily dispose of me.  She is one woman who’s bad side you never want to be on.” Red replied to his friend.

            “Keep the sedatives on hand. After a few days when his pain has lessened he will try to get out of the bed.”  Dembe said to Harper knowing it was only a matter of time before Red got too restless. 

            “Will do.”  Harper said smiling at Dembe. Who was Kate?  How many women did her father have in his life? And what did he mean by dispose of him? “I am going to give you a bit more pain medication.”

            “I’m fine.”  Red said not wanting any more pain medication simply because it would make him drowsy again.

            “You’re heart rate doesn’t agree nor your facial expression. I saw you cringe when you shifted. I will give you a small dose and if you need more we can increase it.  Just enough to take the edge off.”  Harper explained hypothesizing that the reason her estranged father did not want the medicine was because he wanted to remain awake. 

            While she was administering a small dose of pain medication, the sound of the front door opening alerted everyone to the presences of someone entering the house.

            Lizzie knew Dembe would be on alert, so she called out, “It’s just me.”

            “I’ll go help Liz bring in the groceries.”  Dembe said excusing himself. 

            “Is there any chance I can get out of this bed?  Maybe just move a little bit.”  Red asked watching her clean up the medical supplies.

            “Not today.”  Harper said, “Lets see how you feel tomorrow.  If your pain levels are low enough and you promise to just sit we can think about moving you to the chair. “  Seeing that he was not happy with her decision she added, “I can have a TV brought in if you want?”

            “I have not watched TV in years.”

            “Really?”

            “Yes.”

            “What do you do in your free time?”

            “Not a lot of free time, but mostly I read or play chess with Dembe.”

            “I guess the life of a most wanted criminal would not allow for much free time.”

            Red felt the sting of her words, even though he knew she did not mean for them to hurt him, “I just prefer to stay busy. “

            “Dembe is nice.  He seems to really care about you.”

            “Dembe has been by my side for a long time.”  Red spoke, “I tried to get him to do something else with his life, but he refused.  He is a good friend.”

            “I’m glad you have someone like that in your life.”  Harper said surprising herself because she was happy that Raymond had not been lonely.  When she thought about his life she always pictured him hiding out in crappy hotels alone. Even though she hated him, no one deserved that life.

            “Did your mother tell you about seeing me last year?”  Red asked entering uncomfortable conversation, but he had wondered.

            “Yes.” Harper answered honestly watching her father, he was biting his cheek she noticed from time to time he would do that, “She and I speak once a week still.”

            “I asked her about you.  She said you disappeared to make sure I would not find you.”  Red stated feeling the pain of the statement, “I am sorry they brought me to you.  Not because I do not want to know you, but because you did not want me in your life. I did not ask Lizzie to find you. I tried, just to see if you were happy, but I never had any intention of entering your life without your permission.”

            “It is fine.  Lizzie was just trying to do something nice for you. Then you were dying and I had the skills to help. I would never let anyone die, no matter who they were, if I could save them.  I became a doctor to help people.”  Harper said truly touched by her fathers statements.  He would respect her wishes, and that was comforting to know.

            “Well I am sorry.  I will make sure that when we leave you will be as safe as before we came.  I will do whatever is necessary to make sure your life is not impacted by this.”

            “Thank you.”  Harper said. “Do you ever find it weird that an FBI agent was trying to do something nice for you?”

            “Often.” Red chuckled clutching his side with his good hand as a bolt of pain shot through him.  “Lizzie is not your typical FBI agent.”

            “Why did you turn yourself into the FBI?  You managed to spend most of your life evading them.”

            “I got bored.”  Red lied, luckily he never promised not to lie to Harper.  How could he explain to her his connection with Lizzie, what he had done to Lizzie by hiring Tom, how he had a list of people he wanted taken care of. The wish list of bad guys he had cultivated over the years, the list that when finished he would feel like maybe, just maybe, he would have redeemed some of the worst acts he ever committed. That just maybe he would forgive himself for those acts.  However, if he told her any chance of her seeing him as something other then a monster would be null.

            “I highly doubt that.  You just don’t want to tell me.”  Harper called him on it.

            Red sighed, “I am helping the FBI capture some of the worst people I have come into contact with over the years.  People they never even knew existed.”

            “So you are like an informant?”

            “I guess.”  Red yawned the pain medication was starting to work he did not feel the nags of pain anymore.

            “I better go help them put up the groceries.  Do you need anything before I leave?”

            “Do you have any books?”  Red asked knowing he would likely fall asleep soon, but he wanted something to occupy him.

            “Sure. What type of book do you want?”

            “Just pick one.” Red said, “I am not too picky when it comes to reading material.  Anything but Charlottes Web.  It was the only book I had a for a few years and I probably read the book to the point of memorization.”

            Harper smiled, “You were reading that to me right before…” Her smile faded.

            “I remember.  When I was out of town, you would call me and we would read it.  You demanded that I do the voices for each character.”

            “I’ll go find a book.”  Harper said uncomfortable in continuing the conversation.  Anything about their past hurt.  The feelings of betrayal, abandonment, and shame always came over her at the thought of her father.

\----------------

            The next morning Red finally got to eat something.  “Broth really.”  Red said, “Not even real broth this is the broth from Ramon noodles.” Red complained about the food he was given, but in reality he was just doing it to distract the two women in the room so they would not notice how nauseous he was. 

            “You can barely eat that.” Harper called him out not feeling a need to protect his modesty.  “Just a few more bites. I do not want to have to get you nutrients via IV.   It will likely increase the time you are stuck in that bed.”

            Red too a few more bites and found he was already full despite only have a few sips of the broth.

            “That’s good for now.  We can try again later.”  Harper said handing the bowl to Liz, “Can you take this downstairs for me?”  She asked, “I need to check his wounds and chest tubes.”

            Liz was happy to leave the room not wanting to survey the damage again. The tubes coming out of Red’s abdomen and chest were disgusting enough and reminded her of Tom or whatever the hell his name was. 

            Harper checked each of the wounds first, “Infection is down and almost gone.” She said happily. When she got to the chest tubes she smiled, “I think we can take one of them out.” 

            “Good.” Red stated hating having the tubes stick out of him. 

            “I need to give you a stronger dose of pain medicine.  It’s going to hurt.”  She warned.

            “That’s fine.  Can I get out of this bed a bit today?”  Red asked, “Since one of the tubes are coming out.”  The last part almost a plea.

            “We will see.”  Harper said, “I want you to rest for a bit after the tube comes out.”

            She moved quick and carefully to remove the chest tube, he made no noise to indicate he was in pain, but she could tell from his tensed body and heart rate. “Sorry, almost done.”

            “I’m going to give you a local now so I can stitch the hole from the tube.” Again she moved quickly once the area was numb.  It was a bit nerve wracking to have him watch her as she worked.  This part her interns usually did, but there were no interns to do this work. “All done.”

            “Thank you.”  Red said moving his hand to her gloved hand.  “I appreciate all of this.”

            Harper moved her had away and ignored the pained expression on the mans face. She did not want to fight with him right now, and that is what would happen if she said anything. The anger she felt for him was bubbling to the surface again, for no other reason than he was here and had yet to explain himself or apologize. It was foolish to be upset because if he had tried, she’d of walked away.  Maybe even kick them out of her house, though she doubted that.

            “May I come in?”  Dembe asked at the doorway as Harper was cleaning up.

            “Yes. I just finished removing one of his chest tubes.”

            “Good news.”  Dembe said a worried look on his face, which Red knew all was not well. 

            “Jen…Harper.” Red quickly corrected himself, “Do you mind giving Dembe and I a few minutes.  There is some business I need to ask him to attend to, and probably better that you do not become an accessory.  After all, you are already aiding and abetting a known criminal.”

            “I’m all finished.  I guess us women folk will cook dinner.”

            “Oh God no.”  Red said loudly “Don’t let Lizzie near a stove.” 

            “That bad?”  Harper asked with a genuine smile on her face.

            “Yes.” Red said, “She once burnt water.”

            Liz was outside the room, “How do you know about that?”

            “Sam told me.”  Red answered.

            “How do you burn water?” Harper asked walking out with Liz towards the downstairs. 

            Once their voices were out of earshot, Red asked, “What is going on?”

            “Paul is searching for you.  He knows you are in town.  His men are watching the plane, the hotel we were staying at, and he raised the award for you brought to him alive or dead.”

            “Is he sniffing around this area?”  Red asked.

            “No. Not yet at least.” Dembe said, “I am not sure if he will be able to figure out you are here or not.”

            “We have to be careful.  I do not want Jennifer compromised in anyway.  When we leave I want it to be as if we do not even know she existed.”

            “I am doing my best to ensure that.”  Dembe said

            Red suggested, “Maybe we should move to another house?”

            “We have few people we can trust here. I have all the men I would trust now. None that I would trust with helping us find a location.  They think they are protecting the FBI agent you were with.  Nothing more.  I told them you were already moved to a different location.”  Dembe replied. 

            Red said knowing that even if he tried to arrange another safe house and doctor that it would only be a matter of time before it got back to Paul, and that would put Lizzie in danger.  He was not willing to put either Lizzie or Jennifer in danger.  He hoped he would never have to choose between the two because it was an impossible choice.  “Make sure both are covered with security if they leave the house.” 

            “I will.”  Dembe replied.

            “Can you try to get Paul’s contact information and a secure phone?” Red asked.

            “I can do that.”  Dembe said, “What do you have to trade with him?”

            “Money seems to work for most people. I am hoping his greed will beat out his anger.” However, both Dembe and Red knew it was unlikely to work, but it was the only thing Red had at his disposal right now.

            “Kate called too. She wants to come check on you herself.”

            “She can’t.”  Red said knowing her arrival would tip off Paul and likely others after him.  Too much attention would not allow for him to slip out of Jennifer’s life and leave it intact. 

            “I explained to her the situation.  As soon as you are cleared to move, she will meet us at the safe house in Bloomington.”

            “Anything else?”

            “No. Everything else is being taken care of.” Dembe answered wanting to ask Red how he was doing with having his daughter so close, but knowing it was a line he could not cross right now.  Later, when it was just him and Red he could ask but with the girls in the house it would not be taken well. 

            “Thank you.”  Red said truly grateful for Dembe.

            “You should rest.”  Dembe said taking a seat next to the bed. He grabbed the book Harper had brought Red earlier and chuckled, “Henderson the Rain King?” 

            “Jenn…Harper” Red said annoyed with having to remember her other name and use it, “Brought it for me to read.”

            “Have you ever read it before?”  Dembe asked having read it himself for a college course.

            “No.” 

            “Henderson reminds me of you sometimes.”  Dembe said flipping to the first page of the book.

            “Why is that?”  Red said not sure if it was a compliment or an insult.  The Henderson character was aloof at best.  The mans daughter had been pregnant and convinced her father that a baby just magically appeared one day.  The man was also arrogant, so sure he could fix the tribes problems with the frogs.

            “He tries hard to make everything work.  But when he fails, he makes a mess of it all.”

            “Lizzie?” Red asked the question clear between the two friends.  What Red was asking if that applied to his relationship with Lizzie.

            “Yes and Harper.  Now rest and forget I said anything.  I will make sure everything is fine while you are sleeping.”

            Red nodded and only listened to his friend because he truly was tired, again. This getting shot stuff was not fun, he was tired more often then not.  He had slept more in the past few days then he had in years. 

\------------       

            Dembe had taken Red to use the bathroom, after a compromise was reached between Red and Harper regarding how to deal with his bodily functions now that he was more alert.  It also included a sponge bath, Red gave himself with Dembe’s help at points. 

            Lizzie was in the room waiting for Red to return.  She decided tonight was the night to talk about what she had learned right before Red had been shot.  It almost had slipped her mind given the events, but it came back when she caught a glance of his scars earlier that evening. 

            Red started protest having babysitters, as he called them, all the time. But Harper had put him in his place reminding him he was dying just a few days before, and that he had run a high fever just the day before.  He was healing, and this was the best alternative to putting him in a true ICU unit.

            Once everyone had left Lizzie and Red alone she asked, “How did you burn your back?”

            “My back?”  Red asked trying to stall because he had done his best to ensure Lizzie did not see the scars.

            “Harper told me she remembered you having been burnt badly at work, your back. I saw the scars today too.”

            “It was an accident.”  Red said, “Work related.”

            “You were there the night of the fire.”  Lizzie said noting how Red’s face twitched.  He was nervous now, it was in his eyes.  “You killed my parents.”

            “No.” Red answered.

            “No you weren’t there?” Getting no response from him but an increase in his heart rate that he quickly calmed, “Or you did not kill my parents?”

            He had contemplated lying to her the first time and saying yes. This way she would let it go, for now. She would get upset with him, yell at him, call him every mean name under the sun, and then storm out. He would send Dembe after her, to make sure she was safe, and eventually she would either forgive him or he would go back to the way things were before he turned himself in. But he knew he could not lie to her, he promised he never would.  Instead he answered her question hoping she would let it go, but he knew better. Therefore, after a few moments of silence, while he weighed the options, he spoke in a rough voice, “No I did not kill your parents.”

            “Is my father dead?  Tom said he was alive.”

            “He is very much dead.”  Red answered giving her nothing more.  He did not want her to know the truth, the truth he had hidden from her.  She did not need to know this truth.  Even while she was under the hypnosis he had protected her from the truth, a truth that would ruin her.  No matter what type of man her father was, she would never forgive.

            “Why were you there that night?”

            “Part of my job.”

            “You saved me.”  She stated.

            Red did not answer instead he rubbed his eyes, tired and sore. He exaggerated these emptions in hopes Lizzie would see them and given in for the night.  While he hated playing the weak card, it was the only one he had. Right now he could not get out of this bed, and the drugs had his brain to fuzzy to dodge the subject easily.

            “You saved me?” She said again now more in a question.

            “We saved each other.”  Red answered avoiding making eye contact with Lizzie. 

            “We are going to talk about this later.”  Lizzie decided to give him a break. 

            “I would expect no less.”  Red said happy that she gave him this out.  She was learning when she could push and when it was best to wait.  She truly was a gifted profiler, even if she always seemed to get his profile slightly wrong.  It was her own bias to only see the worst in him. 

            Harper walked into the room feeling the silence hang between the two, “Everything ok?”

            “Just fine.”  Red said watching Lizzie fidget. 

            “Do you mind taking over for a bit?”  Lizzie asked, “I need to go get some air.”

            “Sure.” Harper said knowing that something had just happened between Lizzie and Reddington, but neither of them was willing to discuss it.  Once Lizzie was gone Harper asked, “What did you do?”

            “Nothing.” Red said defensively.

            “You are a dickhead you know.”  Harper started in on him, “She has been by your side through all of this. The woman tracked me down, defended you to me, convinced me to save your life, and you are just a dick to her.”

            Red stated calmly, “You should not project your anger onto me and Lizzie’s conversation.”

            Harper was pissed now, before she was just annoyed, now she was pissed, “What makes a family man, a naval office with a bright future, turn his back on his country and family?  Are you that big of a coward.  Did it get too hard having a family?  Or was it just the money.”

            The words had stung, the venom at which Harper spoke them was enough to make Red wince as she spoke them, “I did not abandoned you or your mother.”

            “Really because that’s how I remember it.  In fact, I remember the last few months when you were actually around you and my mother fought constantly.”

            “Your mother and I did fight.  But that was not why we got separated.”  
            “Why? Just try to help me understand that. I used to think it was her. That she was mean to you. Then I thought maybe it was me, that I was not good enough.  But I realized it was you.  You were the coward.”

            “I came home Christmas and found blood everywhere.”  Red said his voice a low growl, “It was everywhere. There were no bodies, but so much blood. It could smell it when I finally reached the door after hiking miles in the snow from where my car broke down. There was too much blood, enough for two bodies to have bled out.  I thought they killed you both, to teach me a lesson.  I knew that if I stayed they would just frame me for your deaths. That your deaths would mean nothing. So I ran to search, just in case you survived, but also to get revenge on those who dare to hurt you.”

            “That is bullshit.  They said you were selling intelligence to other nations.”

            “I did not such thing.”  Red said.

            “Why was it that Liz could find me, but you never could.  If you were searching so hard.”

            “I cultivated my contacts and did everything in my power to try to find out what happened that night.  What happened to you and your mother.  No one was talking.”

            “Who is they?  You said they had done it to punish you.”

            “You do not need to know.”  Red said trying to remain calm, the subject was emotionally charged, “What you need to know, what I hope you understand, is that I had no choice in leaving you.” He paused searching her eyes to make sure she was listening to him, “I never would have left if I had a choice. When you were born…” Red had to pause because his chest hurt, and it was not from the gunshot wound, his emotions were trying to boil to the surface, “When you were born my entire world changed, for the better. The first time I held you in my arms I promised to keep you safe.”

            “Well you failed.”  Harper snapped angry not noticing the pain her estranged father was in.

            “I know that.”  Red replied quickly, “I have lived everyday of my life knowing how much I failed you. If I could take it all back, I would have killed myself before any of that happened.  I could not predict what they would do.  What they did.  I spent everyday for years searching for you and your mother, trying to find out what happened.  I became the man I am today because I had to be a monster to avenge, what I thought, were your deaths.”  He paused again a stray tear running down his face, the damn medicine was limiting his ability to keep it all hidden inside, “When I found out you were alive, I searched. I spent millions of dollars looking for you.  I never planned on entering your life, I just wanted to make sure you were happy. I never wanted to force myself into your life, the danger it would bring was not worth it.”

            Red stopped speaking as he his voice started to give out.  He hated that he was stuck in this bed.  He wanted to walk out of this place so he could all the emotions he has been trying to keep down out. 

            “What would you have done if you found out I wasn’t happy?”  Harper asked having heard each of the words Reddington had spoken, despite her anger at him. 

            “I would have done everything in my power to make sure you were happy.”

            “I think that’s enough serious talk for now.”  Harper said noting the condition of her patient, “You should rest.”

            “I know.”  Red answered shifting in the bed trying to ease some pain, “I..”  He didn’t know what to say, he could not apologize because it would not make up for anything.  His daughter was in front of him and even after all of the years of thinking of what he would say or do if she was in his life again, none of it seemed to be right. “Can we talk again later?” Red started to speak, “I want to make sure things are sorted between us.  Once I leave, I will stay gone.  I don’t expect your forgiveness.  I just want to know about you.  You have turned out to be a wonderful, strong, woman.  I am proud of what you became in spite of me.  And I will always love you.”

            “We can talk more tomorrow.” Harper said feeling her heart melt just a bit for the man in front of her.  Her father, was alive and in front of her wanting to know her. Proud of her.  It was more then she had ever dreamt. 

            “Thank you.”  Red said wiping a stray tear from his eye again. 

            “You should thank Liz and Dembe.  They convinced me to give you a chance.”

            “How so?”  Red answered wondering what the two had said about him to make his daughter willing to even think about giving him a chance.

            “Their loyalty to you.  The way they looked when they thought you were dying.  You mean a lot to them.” 

            “They mean a lot to me too.”

            “One question before you rest.”

            “I’m all ears.”

            “Liz, I know her.  I meant her when I was a child didn’t I? “

            “Yes.”

            “She does not remember?”

            “No she doesn’t.  You probably shouldn’t tell her either.”

            “Why?”

            “The people who are behind all of this they will come after her if they know she remembered anything from the past.  If they find out who she is, they will come after her.  She is not ready to face them yet.”  Or remember what was done Red thought to himself, “She would be in grave danger, and she would not stop pestering me until I told her how and why she meant you.”

            “Ok.” Harper said, “Am I in danger?”

            “As long as no one knows I know who you are, no.  I will do everything in my power to ensure that stays that way.” Red said.

            “Get some rest.”  Harper said turning the lamp next to the bed down.  “If you need anything just call.  I think it’s safe enough to let your rest alone for now on.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> BTW, I have one huge story in the works, but I could def use some help with consistency and editing. if anyone is interested in helping message me and I'll send you more details.


	8. Chapter 8

Liz knew something was going on with the people who had targeted Red because Dembe insisted on leaving for the house on his own and would not tell anyone where he was going. He asked Liz to remain at the house with Harper until he returned, and gave her a number to call if anything went wrong.  He said people were near by, but he needed to go deal with some business for Red.

            When Dembe returned, he only spared a few seconds to let Liz know he was back, and then went to speak with Red.  When Liz tried to walk into the room, she was asked politely to come back later. That Dembe and Red were dealing with a matter that she was best unaware of. 

            Next time Liz tried to enter the room, Dembe was outside standing guard.

            “What is going on?”  She asked upset that she was being left out of the loop.

            “As Raymond told you, he is dealing with some business that is better you do not know about.”  Dembe answered not moving from the door.

            “He is supposed to be resting.”

            Dembe gave no response and did not move from the doorway.  Liz stared him down for a few seconds and then gave up and left.

\-----------

            Inside the room Red was on the phone listening to it ring.   
            “Ray I have to admit I’m shocked you are still alive.”  Paul answered the phone without any formalities. 

            “I am a hard person to kill.  Men better than you have tried, and the failed.”  Red said knowing it was not the best to antagonize the man on the other line but he hated the smugness in the man’s voice.

            “Where are you?”

            “Out of the city.  But my man tells me you have police sitting on my plane waiting for me to come back.”

            “Yes they are.  It pays to have the St. Louis PD in your pocket.”  Paul said chuckling as he spoke. 

            “Tell me how much it will cost to fix any grievances you have with me.”

            “Really, you’ll pay me to go away?”  Paul said.

            “If that is what you want then yes.”  Red said, “We are two business men.  Your anger over my winning the contract all those years ago is foolish. It was just business. The alternative is you get nothing, and I make you look like a fool again when my plane flies away with me on it and your men still watching and waiting for it to leave.”

            “My wanting you dead is just good business.”  Paul replied, “With the money on your head, and the fact that I will once again be the only person with people in place to keep the pipeline working, it’s a pretty good profit for me.”

            “Or I could pay you to let my man take the plane away, and we can share the pipeline. I will keep my people in place up until the Midwest, and then you can take over.  We can split the profits and when I retire, which will be sooner rather than later, you get to keep the pipeline and all I’d ask for is a annual 2% payment.”

            “If I thought for a second I could trust you, I would say you have a deal. But I know better then to trust you. You’d only make me look stupid, and then we’d be back to where we were, only this time I would make sure you die.”

            “Does that mean you will be committing suicide soon?”  Red asked in a jovial voice, hiding the anger he felt, but his words clearly were not jovial.  “Because you make yourself look stupid on a daily basis.  Trying to take me out, was stupid.  Turning down the deal is stupid.”

            “Where are you Ray?  I know you are in the city.  I just don’t know where. I will find you eventually. I will kill anyone hiding you. You will beg me to kill you before I finally put a bullet in your head.”

            “Sounds like fun, but you should quit dreaming.”  Ray answered back, “And I am very much out of the state of Misery. I do not understand how you can live in such a horrible place. You do know there is a world outside of that miserable state?”

            “We’ll see.  I got to go Ray. I got work to do. Seems I have a lead just now to follow. I’ll see you soon.”  Paul said before disconnecting the call. 

            Red threw the phone onto the bed upset that his negotiations went wayward. Partly his fault for not placating Paul, but he despised the man, and the idea of trying to placate the man was nauseating.

            His foul mood only got worse awhile later when Harper came to his room with news. “I need to go into work.”

            “I thought you had the time off?”  Red said, “If it is money I can pay…”

            She stopped him before he continued, “There was an accident on Highway 70 westbound and I need to be there.  All hands on deck situation.  A bus overturned and multiple cars were involved.  I’m a trauma surgeon and they need me.”

            “I understand.”  Red said, “Dembe will drive you.  Can you please stay in the hospital or call when you want to leave?  I will have Dembe escort you.”

            “If it will make you feel better.”

            “It will.”  Red said knowing it was possible he was putting her in more danger by having Dembe with her. His trusted friend would be noticeable to anyone who knew him, but at the same time Dembe was the only person he would trust with his daughters life. 

            Dembe did not need to be told to make sure no harm came to Harper, or to keep Red informed of their movements.  He knew his friend well enough to know what to do.  Dembe walked her into the hospital and all the way until he could no longer follow her.  He gave her a cellphone with his number programed in, telling her he would be around if she needed him.  She could call or txt him. While she was working, Dembe took the time to familiarize himself with the hospital so he could easily get around if Harper needed him. After multiple calls with Red and a few check-ins with Harper, Dembe retired to the car to wait her out. She had warned him it would be many hours before she was done. 

            Red was climbing up the walls, and there was nothing Liz could do to calm him down.  He was worried about Harper, but he would not say why.  Liz was sure it had something to do with the afternoon events of Dembe and Red keeping everyone away while Red was dealing with business. 

            “Red you need to relax.”  Liz said having entered the room a half hour before to serve Red some broth for dinner. She was sure he could probably handle solid food now, but Harper had not told her, so she played it safe. Red had yet to touch the broth.

            “I am relaxing the best I can.”  Red said sitting up in the bed.  He was ready to go to the hospital himself and find Harper and drag her back to the house.

            “Dembe will make sure she’s safe.”

            “I know he will.”  Red said.

            “You are afraid of losing her again.”  Liz said it for Red, “You are not sure you can handle mourning her a second time.”

            “A parent should never outlive their child.”  Red said, “And yes you are right I do not think I could do it a second time.”

            “What are you going to do when you are all better?”  Liz asked.

            “She asked me to leave her alone.”  Red replied knowing it was best for Harper if he ceased all contact with her. She would be safer that way, damn whatever pain he felt. 

            “Is that what you want?”

            “Of course not.”  Red said, “however, it is what is best.”

            “Are you sure?”

            “Yes. The life I live would only put her in danger.  If the wrong people found out who she was, they would use that.”

            “The loner, of course.”  Liz reminding them both of her first assessment of Red, at his request.

            “It is the life I chose.”  Red said sounding bitter because it was not so much as a choice of necessity.

            “You could retire.”  Liz replied, “I am sure you have more than enough money to live very comfortable the rest of your life.”

            “Even if I retired it would not be enough any of the people who wish me harm. They would just find it more entertaining to come after me.  There is no walking away from this life Lizzie.”

            “What about assuming a new identity?  You do it for others all the time, why could you not do it for yourself.”

            “No matter what I do, even if I were to kill all of my enemies I would not enter her life.”  He did not add why, but they both knew it was because he believed he did not deserve the chance to get to know his daughter to let her love him. 

            Liz felt her heart break for Red as she heard his words, she wanted to tell him how much he deserved to know and be loved by his daughter, but it would do no one any good.  She knew it would probably lead to them fighting. She did not want to fight with him right now. “I’ll let you be. Try to eat.  Maybe when they get home you can have something different.”

\--------------

            “Sir. One of our people has eyes on Reddington’s man.” 

            “Where at?”  Paul asked his employee.

            “At Barnes Jewish Hospital.”

            “We are sure Ray is not there?”

            “Yes sir.  Our person on the inside has checked everywhere to ensure he was not admitted under another name.”

            “What is Dembe doing there then?”

            “He came in with a doctor.” 

            “Interesting.” Paul said, “Send more people over to stay with Dembe and the doctor. ”

            “Yes sir.”

            “Find out who the doctor is, and I want to know everything about her in the next few hours.”  Paul was excited, this was a good lead.

            Paul knew it was only a matter of time until he tracked down Raymond Reddington. He would make the man pay for the hard times he had endured because of Ray.  Maybe when he finished, he would let Ray live, but sell him to the highest bidder.  There were likely many interested parties in having a broken Raymond Reddington. The knowledge the man had, his ability to obtain information, and his other skills would make Paul millions if sold to the right people.  Hell, he might even keep Ray himself and use the man to pull information from. Paul had recently been made aware of a man known as the Trainer, who could take any human being and train them to be whatever someone wanted.  Paul’s associate had used the Trainer to create the perfect wife. The poor woman had been a normal lawyer who happened to defend Paul’s associate in an unfortunate matter before the law. Maybe Paul could hire the Trainer to help him break Ray and turn him into an obedient lap dog who would do Paul’s bidding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about delays between updates. This story will get finished. RL is busy right now and will be for the foreseeable future.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Completely unproofread. wrote and posted all within 40 minutes. Apologies for any errors and for delays between updates RL is kicking my butt.

            Harper had been home a half hour before she went to check on her estranged father. She went into the room looking for a fight, having lost a young patient.  The young ones always bothered her, stuck with her, that she was not good enough to save them.  Part of her wondered why the world let people like her estranged father live, but took innocent children too soon.  People like her father who only lived for their own gain, typically measured in monetary gain, and it did not matter who the left behind, betrayed, or what they had to do in order to gain money.  The ends justified the means in their world.  Why do those people live, but not the innocent children? 

            It did not take much for her to pick a fight with him.  It was easy, she started in on him regarding his abandonment of his family, his betrayal of his nation, and his treatment of Liz. Before she stormed out of the room, and then out of the house, she had said many things that she would later regret. He mostly took her anger, and only tried to apologize or defend himself against her harsh words. It was a one sided fight. Dembe tried to follow her, but her storming out of the house to her car was a surprise, and she was able to drive away in the car before Dembe reached the front step of the house.

            The hospital was the best place for her to be.  She could check in on her patients, the ones that survived, and help anyone else who came in.  Vowing that the next patient she would save, that she would learn from the death of the little girl, even if it was not her fault.  The little girl had sustained injuries from the car wreck that would have been fatal for a healthy adult.  If Harper was thinking rationally about the situation, she would have known the little girl should not have survived the life flight to the hospital. But she never thought rational about the lost of life. 

            She was at the elevators that would take her to the ground floor of the parking garage when two men walked up behind her.  They were next to her before she even realized they were a danger to her.

            One man was short with a scar running down the side of his face, and the other man was taller and blonde.  The shorter one flashed her a St. Louis City police badge, “Can you come with us doctor?”

            “What for?”  Harper asked studying the badge, it looked real. 

            “We have some questions about one of your patients.”

            While the badge looked real, something was off about this situation. Police did not approach people in parking garages, especially this early in the morning, “I was paged for a surgery. Can we speak afterwards in my office?”

            “We have reason to believe that you have recently performed an illegal surgery on a wanted felon.”

            “Not to my knowledge.  All of my surgeries have been in this hospital.”  Harper replied getting nervous because this situation was not right at all. She wanted to run, but she knew there was no way she would out runt he two men.  All she could do was stall of time and hope another doctor or anyone came into the situation.  These men would not try anything with anyone else around, or so she hoped.

            “Please come with us.”

            “Like I said I have to go for a surgery.”   Harper said, “I am on call, and it is important that I arrive in a timely manner or else the patient could die.”

            “I won’t ask nice again.”  The short man said reaching inside his coat to pull out a gun.  “Come with us now.”

            Her wish came true when the elevator door opened and a man in a white doctors coat walked out and stopped suddenly when he saw Harper with a gun aimed at her.  However, before the man could say or do anything, the taller man produced a gun and shot and shot the man in the doctor coat in the head.  Harper screamed raising her hand to her mouth in shock.  She was too shocked to fight the men when they pulled her towards a car.  Her struggle began when they pushed her over the hood of the car, and the short man grinded into her as he pulled cuffs on her.

            “If you had listened to us you stupid bitch that man would be alive now.” The short man said pushing the cuffs on her wrist way too tight.  She screeched as she felt him grind into her one more time before he pulled her off the car and pushed her into the backseat of the car. 

            In the back seat she tried to kick the windows out but they did not budge and it only hurt her legs as she tried to kick again and again.  The taller man screamed at her to stop, and when she did not listen, he produced a taser and used it on her.  Tears streamed down her face, and she remained quiet and docile as they drove through the parking garage.  She noticed the men used her pass to leave the garage, so they did not have to deal with the parking attendant. 

 

\-----------

           

            Red was worried about Harper, she had stormed out of the house without any protection.  He was hurt to by her words, and the anger she showed.  So upset he had demanded that Lizzie leave him alone, and when she refused he was a jerk to her to make sure she would leave him alone.  He was sure she left the room in tears, and he knew he would need to apologize later.  Right now he was too worried and upset to attempt to apologize.  Lizze had left with Dembe both out searching for Harper.

            It took Red demanding Dembe go look for his daughter to get his friend to leave the house.  Dembe warned the hired guns that took up residence around the neighborhood to keep an eye out for any trouble and to call him at any sign that someone was making a move on Red. It made Dembe uncomfortable to leave Red alone, but he knew Liz needed to get away from Red, and Red needed time to fume alone.  He left the phone with his friend, and promised to call Red as soon as he found Harper.

            Dembe was sure it would only be a short drive to the hospital and then locating her would be as simple as having her paged.  However, it was not that simple.  According to the charge nurse he spoke with, Harper never checked into the hospital, and was not responding to any of her pages or phone calls. It was very unlike Dr. Harper to do that, the nurse informed Dembe. 

            Red was not resting, it took all of his willpower to stay in the bed and not pace the room.  When the phone rang, Red nearly jumped out of his skin, “Dembe did you find her.”

            “Dembe is not going to find your doctor friend.”  The taunting voice of Paul said on the other line.

            “She has nothing to do with the business between us.”  Red stated, he realized from Paul’s taunt that the man had no idea exactly who Harper was.  This was good for Red because right now she was just a doctor who tended to him for money.  If Paul found out it was Red’s daughter, then she would be a huge bargaining chip.  Red clinched his jaw and swore to himself he’d kill Paul, when he heard Harpers pained cry over the phone.

            “You brought her into this when you had her save your life. If you had just died when those idiots shot you, she would not have ever been involved.”

            “How much is the pretty doctor worth to you?”  Paul asked Red expecting the other man to say nothing.

            “What do you want?”  Red said, “An apology? You turned down a joint partnership. You want it all to yourself?”

            “Where are you right now?”  Paul asked, “At the pretty doctors house?”

            “Yes.” Red answered because it was likely that Paul knew exactly where Harper lived, and it was not worth the lie.

            “Are your people there?”  Paul asked.

            “Yes.” Red said, “If you try anything they will kill you.”

            “Is the pretty doctor worth a trade to you.”

            “What do you want?”  Red asked “I will give you the pipeline if that’s what you want.”

            “I want more then that.  I want you. I will trade her for you. Her life for yours.”

            Red was quiet for a moment, not because he was hesitating to give up his life for Harpers, he’d do that easily.  But Paul did not know who Harper was, so he could not possible expect someone like Red to give up his life for an unknown doctor.  If Red agreed, would it put Harper more at risk. Did it matter? If he was willing to let Harper go, then it was enough for Red.  “You have to give me your word that you will let her go unharmed, and leave her alone. She has nothing to do with any of this, other then being unfortunate enough to have impressed one her colleagues enough to be recommended to me when my men called for help.”

            Paul realized that this was way to easy, but right now he would take the easy option.  Part of his questioned it, but for now it was enough, “Deal.” 

            “I will need her to come back to her house.”  Red stated.

            “Why?” Paul asked knowing that it could be a trap.

            “I have a chest tube in that I can remove myself.”  Red answered, “She or someone else will have to remove it.”

            “I will send one of my men.  He can remove the tube, and when you are here, we will let her walk away.” Paul responded. “If my man is not back within the hour the Doctor dies.  Until then you will stay on the phone, so I know that you are not warning your people.”

            “Fine.” Red grounded out.

            “How many people are in the house?”

            “Just me.  I do not know how many men are watching the house.”

            Paul taunted Red with all of the things he would do to Harper if Red reneged on his end of the deal during the ten minutes it took the man to show up to remove Red’s chesttube. 

            Red was surprised when a man in a police uniform walked into the room. Only because it was the very man Liz had spoken with during their first visit to the house. The friendly local cop.  

            “I’m here.”  The cop said walking up to Red, so that Paul could hear on the other end of the phone. The cop had field training from his time in Army.  He knew how to insert and remove chesttubes, having done it as a field medic while deployed in Afghanistan. Red felt like an invalid because there was very little he could do to protect him or Harper. His only hope was that Paul kept his end of the deal and only one of them would die today.

            The cop quickly and easily removed the chest tube, using gauze and tape to cover the hole left behind.  “No reason to waste stiches on someone who is going to be dead soon.” The cop taunted as he finished by pulling Red off the bed.

            Red held a groan of pain in.  He had not been able to walk well on his own.  Mostly Dembe carried his weight around when they made the short trips to the bathroom. Now he was left to carry himself around. The cop quickly cuffed his hands behind his back, and pushed Red forward pulling up on the handcuffs making Red groan in agony. 

            “We are on our way back.”  The cop said taking the phone Red left on the bed.  When he finished the call he dropped the phone to the floor and stomped on it.

            The trip to the car felt like they walked miles instead of only a few yards. Red was exhausted and panting in pain by time they reached the car.  The cop pushed him in the backseat not caring about his wounds.  Red cried out in pain when his bad shoulder broke his fall onto the seat.  

            The cop did not speak to him again as they drove through the endless streets towards some unknown location.  Red kept track of the turns and the streets, just in case he found the chance to escape.

            When they reached their location, Red watched two men approach the car and braced himself when he felt a pair of hands on him pulling him out of the car. With no hands to break his fall, he smashed into the ground with a thud.  Another groan escaping his lips.  The world swam before his eyes, he was struggling to remain conscious because he was not use to anyone if he passed out from the agony.  Tears reached his eyes, and he did his best to push them back. The nausea he felt at the pain, however, did not go away, and he found himself vomiting onto someone’s shoes as they dragged him into some building.  He heard the man cuss him, but was wrapped into his own world of agony to truly understand the words. 

            Eventually, when the pain receded enough that he was aware of his surroundings again he found himself being held into a wooden chair by a strong pair of hands.

            Paul was standing over him speaking.  It took a few more seconds before Red registered the words.

            “You with us finally?”  Paul asked a grin on his face as he looked down at his prey. 

            Red looked up at him trying to glare the best he could.  “Where is the doctor?”

            “She’s fine.”  Paul said stepping aside so Red could see Harper, who was sitting in a chair across the room. She had bruises on her face, and she was crying.  Her mouth was tapped shut and she looked terrified.  It broke Red’s heart and made him wish for the most painful death for Paul, at Red’s hands. 

            “We had a deal, I’m here.  Time to let her go.”  Red said trying to seem stronger then he felt.

            “Things change.”  Paul said, “I thought it interesting that a bastard like yourself would be so willing to give yourself up for some doctor.  No matter how good she is, or innocent she might be.  You always look out for number one.  So why would you do that?  I decided to ask the doctor.  She caved. It was rather easy to get her to spill. A few smacks and a game of Russian roulette, one click of the gun and she was telling me the story of her dear old dad. What a bastard you are. I mean I knew you were a bastard, but never this bad.”

            “Let her go.  We had a deal. Keep your word. You do not need her.” Red said shifting in the chair trying to get the hand of the stranger off his injured shoulder.

            “Why would I give up something that valuable.  I bet I could use her to get you to do anything for me.” Paul responded walking towards Harper laughing as he heard Raymond fighting the man holding him in the chair.

\-----------

            Dembe and Liz returned to the house after Dembe tried to call Red multiple times and was sent directly to voice main.  Rushing past Liz to the upstairs, Dembe was surprised to only find blood and the chest tube on the bed, but no Red. 

            “He’s gone.”  Dembe called to Liz.

            “Do you think he removed it himself.”  Liz said now standing behind Dembe looking at the tube on the bed.

            “I don’t know.”  Dembe pulled his phone and tried to call the men who were supposed to be watching the house. No one answered the phone. Dembe rushed out of the house towards the location of one of the men who were supposed to be watching over Raymond. He found the man dead from a bullet wound to the back of the head. 

            Returning to the house, Dembe informed Liz that the protection detail had been taken out. 

            “Who is Red’s enemy?”  Liz asked, “Here in St. Louis.  You two had something going on last night that Red did not want anyone to know about.”

            “Raymond had a bad business dealing with a local businessmen in the early 90’s. He was the man behind the hit on Raymond.”

            Liz felt impatient with Dembe and his unwillingness to give more information without prompting, “What is the man’s name?  I can get the local FBI to give me information.”

            “No.” Dembe said, “This man has connections with the St. Louis police department, and likely the FBI here. We cannot bring either of them in, or he will know we are coming after him.”

            “We can’t do nothing.  Whoever it is, will kill Red and Harper.”

            “I need to call Mr Kaplan and get another team down here.”  Dembe said wondering how the team was so easily killed. There had to be someone on the inside, someone who had given up the others positions.  Who though?  Dembe did not even know where all of the men had stationed themselves throughout the neighborhood.

           

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Please let me know what you think. More to come.


End file.
